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Intentional Leadership — D1, W3, M2– Relationships

Week three’s focus is: We before me.

There are lots of stories we could discuss to really focus on teamwork and how critical it is to success. One story you might be familiar with is Remember the Titans, based on a true story.

It’s about a High School football team in the ’70’s, where the white football coach was forced to resign due to a controversial mandate from the school board; he was replaced by a black football coach. This decision created significant tension and polarized the community. The new coach was pressured to resign, but rather than capitulating to the pressure, he reached out to the one person who could help him salvage the Titan’s season — the former coach.

Together, the two men formed a relationship based on respect, and they worked together to break down the racial issues within the team. They took the team off-site for pre-season camp, and assigned each player to room with a teammate from the other race, setting the expectation each would learn three personal facts from his roommate.

The intent was clear — there would be no segregation within the team; each player must commit to each other and the success of the team. Of course, it wasn’t an immediate or smooth transition. There were rough moments, but over time the players developed friendships and the coaches were able to create a culture of unity. As the relationships strengthened, the team overcame all obstacles and won the State Championship.

I’ve been able to work with a number of teams, and I always begin with relationship building. A group of people will not just become a team, simply because they are tasked with working together. Real teams come together due to intentional team building. First, the members must get to know each other, beyond a superficial level. This allows members to identify common ground, which opens the door to the development of trust. This is the foundation of all healthy relationships.

As with the Titans, and the teams with whom I’ve worked, each of us has the opportunity to commit to contribute to something bigger than themselves. When you have the opportunity to work with others, do you put aside your personal agenda for the greater good?

Of course, you don’t have to focus on the team agenda. It’s a choice, to be sure. What I can tell you, based on my experience, is that a high-performing team is able to achieve things significantly more substantive than any of the individuals alone. What I can tell you, based on my experience, is “no one of us is as smart as all of us.”

Take some time today to think about the most difficult working relationship or team dynamic you have experienced. What made it hard? How did you handle the relationships? What did you learn? How will you approach similar situations differently in the future?

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Intentional Leadership — M2, W1, Day 1 — Relationships

Welcome to month 2 of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on relationships.

As we start this first week, it makes sense to consider, first, our relationship with ourselves.

If you’ve done much reading about Abraham Lincoln, you will be well aware that he took quite the journey learning to be a leader. He encountered many challenges along his path, often experiencing events that may have driven some to give up, but he was persistent and knew he had important work to do. Over the course of his journey, he came to know his strengths and weaknesses quite well. This self-awareness allowed him to form relationships with rivals as he steered the country through some of its toughest times.

When we look at many leaders — within organizations, local and state governments, and even those responsible for entire countries — quite often you will notice they have built their inner circles with loyal supporter and long-time colleagues. Not Lincoln; he built his cabinet with bitter rivals, knowing full well they would not see eye-to-eye on many matters that would determine what kind of country the US would be, following the Civil War. He realized, though, that each of those men had invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and experience, and he needed the best to help move the country through such a precarious time.

It takes a strong, confident leader to do that. He knew his ideas and decisions would be challenged, and he understood it would be in the country’s best interest to open himself up to that level of scrutiny. He knew the others had value to add, and would help him to make sound, well-considered decisions about our country’s future.

As you come to truly know yourself — values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams — you will come to more easily recognize those characteristics and qualities in others, and to appreciate them, as well. You will be able to recognize the value of working together.

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership development program. One of the things I learned is: No one of us is as smart as all of us.

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Before we dive into relationships with others, let’s take a close look at ourselves today. Take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses with respect to building and maintaining relationships.

Which skills do you believe to be your strengths?

Which skills would you be well-served to work on?

You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together, we can do great things.  — Mother Teresa

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Intentional Leadership – Month One – Vision – Wrap-up

We’ve just spent the last four weeks together, focusing on the visions we have cast for our teams/organizations. How did it go for you?

In West Virginia, we’ve had a lot of snow off-and-on over the last couple of weeks, which can create hazardous driving conditions. When I’m a passenger in the car, I can enjoy the beauty and magic of the snow. When I’m the driver, I have other concerns – and being able to see, clearly, where I am going is critical. I must be ever vigilant paying attention to the snow coming down, the road conditions, other drivers, and the occasional critter that decides it must also use the road I’m on. It would be lazy and reckless of me to do anything less.

The same can be said of leaders. It’s critical that we are able to cast a compelling vision in a simple and clear manner, so that our teams and organizations can easily understand. If we do it well, and are able to inspire them, they are likely to commit to helping you achieve it, knowing it’s an opportunity to be part of something much greater than them.

I encourage you to dream big. Find that thing that drives you, that fills you with passion. Paint a vivid picture of it for yourself and others. Determine the path you must start down in order to reach it…then take action.

It’s been said that everyone dreams of something. For some, the dream is so real you can almost reach out and touch it, for others it’s just a passing fancy. For some it’s a wish, for others it’s a belief. If you are the vivid dreamer, and you believe in your vision, you will succeed, but you must get started.

If you’re still following this blog – joining me on this intentional leadership journey – I suspect there is some longing within you, some stirring within your soul that has you excited about the future.

What is it?

What do you long to do, be, or have more of?

What do you want to create in the world?

Whatever it is, grab hold of it, nurture it, bring it forth into the world…do not let it fade away, for we will all miss out!

On Monday, we will begin Month Two of our journey, focused on relationships. “See” you then!

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