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Intentional Leadership — D2, W1, M2 — Relationships

It’s self-assessment time! Before we get too far into thinking about and discussing relationships, let’s see how we do on some key foundational elements of relationship-building.

Assess yourself on each of these elements:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

After rating yourself, spend a little time to summarize your thoughts on this exercise. Are you a plus (+) or a minus (-)? What did you learn that you can use to improve your approach to relationships?

This area of leadership is like all the others in that to do well here, one must have a certain level of self-awareness and operate in an intentional manner. As with the exercises that came before now, it’s important that you are really honest with yourself. If you are shallow in this area, it will be readily apparent.

“See” you on Wednesday!

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Intentional Leadership — M2, W1, Day 1 — Relationships

Welcome to month 2 of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on relationships.

As we start this first week, it makes sense to consider, first, our relationship with ourselves.

If you’ve done much reading about Abraham Lincoln, you will be well aware that he took quite the journey learning to be a leader. He encountered many challenges along his path, often experiencing events that may have driven some to give up, but he was persistent and knew he had important work to do. Over the course of his journey, he came to know his strengths and weaknesses quite well. This self-awareness allowed him to form relationships with rivals as he steered the country through some of its toughest times.

When we look at many leaders — within organizations, local and state governments, and even those responsible for entire countries — quite often you will notice they have built their inner circles with loyal supporter and long-time colleagues. Not Lincoln; he built his cabinet with bitter rivals, knowing full well they would not see eye-to-eye on many matters that would determine what kind of country the US would be, following the Civil War. He realized, though, that each of those men had invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and experience, and he needed the best to help move the country through such a precarious time.

It takes a strong, confident leader to do that. He knew his ideas and decisions would be challenged, and he understood it would be in the country’s best interest to open himself up to that level of scrutiny. He knew the others had value to add, and would help him to make sound, well-considered decisions about our country’s future.

As you come to truly know yourself — values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams — you will come to more easily recognize those characteristics and qualities in others, and to appreciate them, as well. You will be able to recognize the value of working together.

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership development program. One of the things I learned is: No one of us is as smart as all of us.

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Before we dive into relationships with others, let’s take a close look at ourselves today. Take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses with respect to building and maintaining relationships.

Which skills do you believe to be your strengths?

Which skills would you be well-served to work on?

You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together, we can do great things.  — Mother Teresa

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Intentional Leadership – D5, W4, M1 – Weekend Prep – Vision

This is becoming our Friday routine. Did you anticipate it?

As we come to the end of this first month on our Intentional Leadership journey, will you spend some time in reflection of the work you’ve done over the past week and consider how it’s going?

Are you ahead of me this week and already have your weekend thought out?

How much rest do you need this weekend?

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

Who can you spend time with that will encourage, nurture, stimulate, support you?

Who needs some of your time and attention?

What do you need to do for yourself this weekend — to relax, refresh, reflect, reinvigorate?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

As is my norm, I don’t have the time scheduled, but have a few things I know I need to attend to:

I need to get more sleep this weekend than I have been.

I will spend time reading, playing, and doing homework with my son.

I will read at least an hour of something fun and an hour of something on growth.

I will spend at least two hours working through curriculum in the John Maxwell Online University and at least two hours on business accounting.

I will call my parents. I will respond to some personal emails. I will handwrite a couple of letters — one to a mentor and one to an old roommate (I confess to not completing this task last weekend).

And I will prepare for Monday…as we all know, Monday is going to arrive; it always does. I know I feel better when I’ve given some thought to how I want it to be.

Again, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we will begin month two of our Intentional Leadership Journey, and our focus will shift from Vision to Relationships.

Remember, success comes from taking steps and doing work each and every day, consistently over time. You’ll see the benefits of your efforts if you are persistent and consistent.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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