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Let’s focus on ourselves today. Take some time today to answer these questions:

Describe a time when you heard the ideas of others and valued them.

Describe a situation in which you were willing to sacrifice your self-interest for the good of the group.

Describe what is going on in the lives of your colleagues.

How are you helping develop and grow those who work with you?

Are your employees coming to you and letting you know what is affecting them so you can help?

Each of these questions describes humility-based leadership. Based on your answers, how do you rate as a humble leader?

Remember: You will get out of these exercises what you put in.

As we begin week four of our focus on Relationships, we will shift gears a bit and bring it all together.

In January 2012, I was responsible for leading a team of people planning a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a significant investment (major equipment overhaul) at a manufacturing company. This event was open to all employees (nearly 1000 people); Union officials; local, regional, and state officials and dignitaries; media; and company executives. Immediately following the ceremony, we also planned an Open House for employees and retirees, allowing each to bring a guest.

Both events required safety orientations, distribution of personal protective equipment, and designated escorts for anyone entering the plant. The Open House also involved refreshments, commemorative give-aways, coordinated plant tours, and, again, media coverage. While the Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony saw about 200 people in attendance, including employees and guests, the Open House saw nearly 1000 people over the course of the afternoon.

As you can imagine, these events required a lot of planning — over the course of a few months — and the hard work and dedication of numerous individuals and departments. It was a monumental effort. And it came off nearly perfectly! We had administrative, communications and marketing, operations, purchasing, supply chain, safety, quality, and human resources support. Each person on this team offered a different kind of expertise and brought different perspectives to the planning and implementation process. Each had a clearly defined role and responsibilities. We met weekly to plan, and communicated between meetings.

On the day of the big events, everything went pretty well. I won’t say the execution was flawless, but nearly so. And the things that didn’t go exactly as planned were not significant enough to make a difference. When the few things occurred that we hadn’t prepared for, people came together to adapt and move forward. All in all, a huge success.

That’s one example. Let’s look, very briefly, at another example of team work. On D-Day, during WWII, the Allied invasion of Normandy required intense coordination between Army, Navy, and Air Force troops. This, too, required a well-thought out plan, clear and frequent communication, each organization and person tasked with clear roles and responsibilities.

This is a shining example of the interdependence between leadership and relationships. The more influential the leader, the more he or she relies on the relationships within the team to maximize production and likelihood of success, whatever the mission. The best leaders don’t go in alone; they realize their success depends on the support and skill of those they work alongside.

Take some time, now, to consider a similar situation in which you were involved. With teams, there are shared goals that must take precedence over individual goals if the effort is to succeed. Think about someone who failed to sacrifice their personal agenda for the good of the team. What was the outcome? What did you learn from the experience?

As we think more about team work this week, let’s spend some time exploring a few questions to clarify how well you contribute to a team.

Ask yourself these questions, and be honest; you’re the one who will benefit from the clarity your answers can bring.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Do I see to understand the situation before sharing my opinion?

When conflict arises, do I see out resolution with that person?

How well do I celebrate others before seeking the applause from others?

Am I willing to ask for help from others?

Is the team goal more important than my goals?

The answers to these questions can be quite revealing in terms of areas of opportunity, if you truly desire to be more effective in building relationships and developing strong, high-performing teams.

When I was younger, I was very much task-focused; I had learned from an early age to be very self-sufficient and to do as many things as possible by myself. I struggled with being willing to trust others, and didn’t give them the opportunity to help me … or even to disappoint me! I eventually reached a point in my career when I learned that it wasn’t a strategy for success.

I finally understood I would be successful only if I could form relationships, which would allow me to be much more productive and effective than I could ever be on my own. So, I learned to connect with people and build long-lasting relationships, with trust as the foundation. That’s not to say I get along swimmingly well with everyone I meet, but I am much more intentional about how I approach relationships. I am now living proof there is value in it.

I encourage you to really consider how better relationships can help you achieve more.