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Bring on the Rain!

I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience lately. Contemplating what it is that allows some people to emerge from adversity and change, stronger and more confident, ready for whatever comes next, while others sink into defeat, seemingly unable to overcome whatever hardship they have experienced.

About 10 years ago, my sister took me to see George Strait in concert, in Seattle. JoDee Messina opened for him. Prior to that night, she wasn’t really on my musical radar, but she put on a good show and it turned out I loved a lot of her songs. Last week, I rediscovered her while browsing the CD racks at Wal-Mart. I picked up her Greatest Hits CD (yes, I know — I’m out of sync with the times, not buying it in iTunes!). I’ve been enjoying it immensely, and have found myself playing one song over and over and over in the car. Here it is:

Bring on the Rain*

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It’s almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing, but I’m not dead

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

I appreciate the recognition that sometimes life is really hard, overwhelming even, and sometimes we need a time out. Time to breathe, regroup, and prepare to meet the challenges of life on a new day…and yet, we are undefeated; we are resilient; we will rise, again, to face whatever challenges that will emerge in our lives.

So, what is it that allows us to declare “I am not afraid!” Certainly, I’ve experienced adversity, profound pain, and what some may define as failure. But  every single time, I’ve woken up the next morning, and forged ahead to face life head-on…unsure how I would handle whatever came next, and yet, knowing down deep that come what may, I would do my best and keep moving.

After some reflection, I think resilience comes from a fundamental belief in ourselves, our value, our expectation that we are here to do something important — a healthy level of faith that all will be well in time. It’s borne of courage and confidence and the knowledge that the experience brings growth; having survived whatever the situation, we will emerge stronger and better able to make our way through whatever comes next.

What change are you working your way through?

Will you allow it to consume you and flavor the rest of your life?

Will you emerge stronger and more confident?

How resilient are you?

What is the foundation for your resilience?

 

What does this song say to you?

*Thank you to JoDee Messina, Tim McGraw, Billy Montana, and Helen Darling for sharing this song with us.

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Want or need?

My 20-year old niece posted this on her Facebook page Friday night:

You’re everything I want, but nothing that I need.

Pretty profound stuff for such a young woman. There’s nothing else in her post, so I have no idea if it came from a song, something she’s reading, something she heard from someone else, or just from her heart, but it got me thinking about what a vast difference there is between the two.

It’s easy enough to jot down a list of all the things I want…a new bed, vacation in Italy, a library in my house with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves filled with books and cozy chairs to snuggle into and read for hours, a cruise through the Inside Passage in Alaska, to see Chris Isaak in concert, again…and if I really want these things badly enough, they are all within my reach if I plan, prioritize, and save. But the point is, they are “wants,” truly not needs.

What I need is significantly different. I need nourishing food; adequate rest; regular exercise; to be surrounded by people who love, support, and nurture me; deep conversations with close friends; opportunities to learn and grow. Really pretty basic stuff, and yet so important.

Sure, it might be nice to have a closet full of new clothes and shoes, maybe a different car, a budget that would allow me to eat in restaurants every night of the week if I wanted or to go on vacation anywhere, anytime. But these things are just things; in the long run, they have no true and lasting value. They will not significantly add to the true quality of my life. They won’t make me a better or happier person. They won’t ensure my relationships are strong and healthy. They won’t make me different. They won’t make me better able to add value to others. They are, in fact, just more “stuff” to clutter up my life with. And for the past six months, or so, I have been actively working at cleaning out my drawers, closets, bookshelves, filing cabinets, and those never-ending boxes in the basement with a focus on getting rid of all this “stuff” that is cluttering up my home, my mind, and interfering with better energy and focus in my life.

The other consideration is that often we find ourselves wanting things we know are not healthy for us. For example, I love Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins. But, I know for a fact that eating it daily is not a good idea! I’ve been in relationships with people I very much wanted in my life, but knew they were not healthy for me to be around.

As the girl said — everything I want and nothing I need.

I’m working on maintaining my focus on the needs, and can honestly tell you, I am feeling more balanced, healthier, more settled. Happy in my own skin, as the saying goes, and it’s a glorious thing.

What are the things you want, but know you don’t need?

What are the things in your life that are preventing you from becoming the very best version of you possible?

Is it time to give some serious consideration to this equation in your life, and maybe make some changes?

Let me know how I can help.

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Intentional Leadership – Day 5 (M1, W1) Vision

Ah, another Friday! Are you prepared for the weekend?

As we come to the end of this first week on our Intentional Leadership journey, it’s time to think about how we will spend the weekend. If you are like many, you will heave a sigh of relief of having made it through another whirlwind, hectic week.

Would it surprise you to know that some people actually thoughtfully plan for the weekends – before the weekend arrives? It’s true!

I must confess, I’m not one of them – at least not 99% of the time. If we plan to go somewhere for the weekend, I am more mindful about the need to plan the time; it’s kind of a requirement when traveling with small children. But, if we are staying home for the weekend, I don’t plan, much to the frustration of my husband.

Oh, I do have a list in my mind of the various things I need to accomplish, errands that need to be run, and chores to complete, but I definitely don’t have a schedule mapped out. And, no surprise to anyone, I’m sure, many Sunday evenings arrive when I still have a bunch of things I did not get done. You know what they say about having good intentions…The good news (for me, at least!) is I’m aware of this pattern of behavior, which gives me the opportunity to rethink it and experiment with new processes that may provide a smoother rhythm to my and my family’s life.

What do you say we try another tactic on this journey we are on?

What if we thought about the weekend differently going forward?

What if we were intentional about defining our needs for the weekend and making time to meet them?

For example, if you work a traditional Monday-Friday schedule, the weekend is typically a time for rest, for fun, for spending with family. How much more satisfied would you feel on Sunday evenings if you actually approached the weekend with these needs in mind, with a plan?

Let’s start this week and see how it goes, ok?

I will meet family time by taking my son to an arts & crafts class, working on his homework, watching at least one episode of Blues Clues, and reading, at a minimum.

I will cook a turkey dinner for my husband, for the two of us to enjoy after he returns from hiking with a friend. This will serve double duty…with the cold, gray weather we’ve been having, I’m craving comfort food and cooking is very relaxing for me!

I will read at least an hour of something fun and an hour of something on growth.

I will call my parents. I will respond to some personal emails.

And I will spend some time preparing for Monday.

This is important! You know Monday is going to arrive; it always does. Take some time to think about how you want to feel on Monday, and what you need to do to feel prepared to start your new week off on a positive foot. Then take the steps over the weekend to set yourself up for success.

Finally, have you given much thought to the big things you have planned in the coming weeks? Are they in your planner? It’s been proven by so many people before us: Successful people are intentional, planning their time focused on their priorities. It’s a simple enough process, but requires focus and commitment. Are you ready for that? If not, get your calendar out and write it down.

Congratulations on making it through month one – week one, of the Intentional Leadership Journey. Next week we’ll focus on Seeing the Bigger Picture.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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