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We’ve just spent the last four weeks focusing on relationships and the critical role they play in our success as leaders. As the poet John Donne said, “No man is an island entire of itself; every an is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Each and every one of us is a piece of a bigger whole. While we might like to think we can do it all ourselves, we cannot. And it leads to a very isolated and lonely existence. I speak from experience here, as I think I’ve shared in previous blogs. I used to believe I could be “Superwoman” and do it all myself…but it’s exhausting, disheartening, and discouraging. The results were never as good as they would have been had I involved others. And I often found myself feeling resentful of others for not stepping up and doing their part; why would they, when I made it clear I didn’t need or want them!

We do not live in isolation, but in relationship to others. Real connections with others offer joy and give our lives meaning. They push us to be better than we would be alone, to reach greater heights than we could ever climb alone. Rich and lasting relationships require time, commitment, and self-sacrifice, but their benefits more than compensate for the investment.

If you take some time to think about leaders you respect, you’ll realize they have built rich “relational” bank accounts; they have developed strong relationships with a variety of people and get energy and sustenance from them. When you truly invest in others and nurture your relationships over time, they are sometimes the only stable, consistent thing you can count on in uncertain times.

In fact, when times get tough, experience, hard work, and talent alone will not save you. If you need any kind of external support — a job, money, advice, hope, mentoring, help, or even a client…your extended circle of friends and associates will be the place to turn to meet those needs. However, if you have not invested in relationships, you may find yourself standing alone.

My questions to you are these:

What did you learn about yourself with respect to relationships over the course of this past month?

What are you doing differently as a result?

How are your relationships changing as a result of your taking different actions and demonstrating different behaviors?

How different are your results, with this new perspective?

What will you do to intentionally invest in the lives of others?

On Monday, we will move into Month 3 of this Intentional Leadership Journey, focusing on Excellence. Again, I am sharing this with you as I walk through this same journey, based on the Intentional Leadership booklet I received through the Chick-fil-A Leadercast (created by Giant Impact) that I attended in May 2012.

Let me know how this journey is changing your thinking and your performance.

Here we are, come to the end of another week, that to me feels like it has flown past — again! It’s a sign I’m getting busier, which is good. But I need to remain aware of whether I’m spending my “busy” time simply being busy or actually productive. This weekend will be a good time for me to reflect on that, and redirect — if need be — my efforts next week…a slight course correction, if you will.

Right now, though, let’s focus on the weekend. Are you ready? Have you gotten into the habit of thinking about it and preparing for it ahead of time, yet?

What relationships do you need to nurture this weekend?

I need to spend more time with my husband.

Are there new relationships you would like to initiate?

I do have some new connections I want to make and will give some thought this weekend to how best to initiate them.

What do you need to do to focus on and nurture yourself this weekend?

A bit of alone time. I’m working on my “I have a Dream” speech assignment; it’s part of the Deeper Path Coaching Cohort I’m working my way through. I will be reading my Dream speech to my fellow travelers on the Path…It will be an interesting experience. I’ve carried so many of these thoughts around with me for a long time, but rarely verbalize them to others.

How much rest do you need this weekend?

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we begin month three —  focus on Excellence. More thoughts on this over the weekend.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you soon!

Let’s focus on ourselves today. Take some time today to answer these questions:

Describe a time when you heard the ideas of others and valued them.

Describe a situation in which you were willing to sacrifice your self-interest for the good of the group.

Describe what is going on in the lives of your colleagues.

How are you helping develop and grow those who work with you?

Are your employees coming to you and letting you know what is affecting them so you can help?

Each of these questions describes humility-based leadership. Based on your answers, how do you rate as a humble leader?

Remember: You will get out of these exercises what you put in.