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As we begin week four of our focus on Relationships, we will shift gears a bit and bring it all together.

In January 2012, I was responsible for leading a team of people planning a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a significant investment (major equipment overhaul) at a manufacturing company. This event was open to all employees (nearly 1000 people); Union officials; local, regional, and state officials and dignitaries; media; and company executives. Immediately following the ceremony, we also planned an Open House for employees and retirees, allowing each to bring a guest.

Both events required safety orientations, distribution of personal protective equipment, and designated escorts for anyone entering the plant. The Open House also involved refreshments, commemorative give-aways, coordinated plant tours, and, again, media coverage. While the Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony saw about 200 people in attendance, including employees and guests, the Open House saw nearly 1000 people over the course of the afternoon.

As you can imagine, these events required a lot of planning — over the course of a few months — and the hard work and dedication of numerous individuals and departments. It was a monumental effort. And it came off nearly perfectly! We had administrative, communications and marketing, operations, purchasing, supply chain, safety, quality, and human resources support. Each person on this team offered a different kind of expertise and brought different perspectives to the planning and implementation process. Each had a clearly defined role and responsibilities. We met weekly to plan, and communicated between meetings.

On the day of the big events, everything went pretty well. I won’t say the execution was flawless, but nearly so. And the things that didn’t go exactly as planned were not significant enough to make a difference. When the few things occurred that we hadn’t prepared for, people came together to adapt and move forward. All in all, a huge success.

That’s one example. Let’s look, very briefly, at another example of team work. On D-Day, during WWII, the Allied invasion of Normandy required intense coordination between Army, Navy, and Air Force troops. This, too, required a well-thought out plan, clear and frequent communication, each organization and person tasked with clear roles and responsibilities.

This is a shining example of the interdependence between leadership and relationships. The more influential the leader, the more he or she relies on the relationships within the team to maximize production and likelihood of success, whatever the mission. The best leaders don’t go in alone; they realize their success depends on the support and skill of those they work alongside.

Take some time, now, to consider a similar situation in which you were involved. With teams, there are shared goals that must take precedence over individual goals if the effort is to succeed. Think about someone who failed to sacrifice their personal agenda for the good of the team. What was the outcome? What did you learn from the experience?

Today is reflection day, so get you ready! Find your journal, pick out your favorite pen — you know the one, it fits your hand just so, and has the exact right size tip (micro fine for me, thank you!), and writes in your favorite color. Ready?

Spend sometime journaling about your experience from yesterday:

What action step did you choose to try? Or were you brave and tried more than one?

Which one(s) did you choose?

Was it easy or challenging?

What did you learn about yourself?

What did you notice about the other person’s reaction?

What will you do differently in the future?

What have you learned this week, with respect to putting aside your agenda in favor of that of your team?

How can you promote “We before Me” with your team going forward?

Map out some specific action steps and timelines you can follow, so you don’t lose what you’ve learned this week.

Remember: Application is the key to bridging the “knowing – doing” gap.

Have an intentional day!

Today we apply what we’ve been thinking about and reflecting on this week. I love this part! This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road — application of principles and practices. After all, if we don’t apply what we know, nothing will change. It’s the biggest gap there is — the one between knowing and doing.

Ready to take the leap?

Today, watch for the following situations, and take action on at least one. Choose one that will be more of a stretch for you; after all, if it’s easy, there’s less opportunity for growth and learning.

Understanding — Before being heard on a subject today, seek to understand the facts and the position/perspective of the others involved, first.

Talk TO Someone, Instead of ABOUT Someone — When you’re tempted to talk about someone, go to them and discuss the issue with them in person, instead.

Be Transparent — Communicate clearly with someone instead of trying to hid your true thoughts or emotions. This is where we get away from being “political,” meaning words and actions intended to be what others want to hear, rather than what you really feel or think.

Outstanding Promises — If you have made a promise to someone, fulfill it today. If the promise is overdue, apologize and seek forgiveness. Vow to do better next time, and follow through.

Ask for Help — Instead of working on your own to figure something out, ask someone you know who may have better ideas or more experience in the specific topic than you, and ask him or her for help.

I can speak for only myself, but each of these have been growth opportunities for me at various times in my life. I frequently remind myself to follow these guides, so I can maintain the credibility I’ve built and demonstrate the integrity people have come to expect from me. I goof up on occasion, as I think we would all admit we do.

Really, the idea that keeps coming to mind is: Be intentional.

If you’re really brave, practice more than one of these! And make it a daily habit; you’ll be amazed at how these actions can improve your relationships over time.

Let me know how it goes for you.