Posts

How I ended up in the basement yesterday

I facilitated a couple of workshops, discussing communication fundamentals and the dynamics within a particular team, yesterday. I had invited an observer into the second session, as we are considering doing some work together and she wanted to see me in action.

Afterwards, as I always do, I asked for some feedback. Her response? She noticed a drop in my energy level at a couple of points during the two-hours she observed. It was true; my energy level did drop and I was acutely aware of it. In “Strengths” terms, one of my dominant strengths had not served me well and I ended up in the “basement,” because it wasn’t on my radar, which would have allowed me to think ahead to how I would adapt when the moment hit.

The basement is where we go when our strengths are not used to full, positive potential, or when they are overused. In my case, it was Empathy, which my #8, so lots of influence on me at that level. I tend to really pick up on and identify with the tone and emotion in the room, and yesterday, there were a couple of people who seriously checked out for a portion of the session; in a small group, it’s painfully obvious to everyone around. I allowed myself to get sucked in…Not what I consider a top-notch performance for myself.

So, after receiving the feedback, I thought it through during my hour-plus drive home. Then, I spent some time discussing it with a Gallup Strengths Coach today. We talked through why it happens, how I can be more prepared for it, and what steps I can put in place to guard against allowing myself to end up in the basement, again.

It always comes full circle for me: Self-Awareness allows us the opportunity to think and act with intention, which makes it more likely we will achieve our desired outcomes.

I am thankful for the awareness and the choices I now have as a result.

/by

The answer is:

Practice!

What’s the question, you ask? The question is: How do I…? (you fill in the blank)

As a coach and mentor, I’m asked this question frequently by the people with whom I am blessed to work. The “blank” — whatever it is they are trying to do differently or learn — varies from person to person, or is sometimes the same. And, truth be told, are some of the same questions I have asked my mentors and coaches, even myself, on numerous occasions.

Having gone through an interesting reflection exercise recently, creating a success timeline for my life through an in-depth study of Think and Grow Rich (by Napoleon Hill), led by two of my mentors, Paul Martinelli and Roddy Galbraith, I realized that the answer to the question is: Practice.

Yep, it’s truly that simple.

Whatever it is, we must simply move ourselves into the action of being and doing. For example, if you find yourself lacking patience and desire to become more patient (this is one I’ve been working on for some time), you must practice being patient. This requires a level of awareness thru which you can recognize the signs and symptoms of your becoming impatient, having the ability to think into it, and make different choices about how you respond (thoughtfully and with focus on achieving a desired outcome) rather than simply reacting (typically, emotionally and immediately…with little thought given to the outcome).

Perhaps it’s learning something new we desire. This begins with a desire to learn, followed by some level of belief we can do it, and some understanding of, at least, the fundamental principles that govern whatever it is. For example, once I wanted to learn to ski. I had the desire, believed I could learn, and had some knowledge of the basics. Then, I hired a skilled, patient, instructor, with whom I spent the day. I won’t tell you it was a quick, fun, or easy process. There was growling, frustration, and tears involved (and to be perfectly frank, probably several swear words!) — on my part, not his. But, eventually, I figured it out and was able to get on and off the chair lift and make my way down the bunny hill, and stop, effectively. To actually master skiing would require my spending a lot more time, effort, and energy practicing…

I think often, as adults, we wish there were some faster, easier, less painful way to acquire new skills or change behaviors; almost as if we imagine there’s some greater being who will bestow upon us — with the swoosh of a magic wand — that which we desire, without our having to do anything to make it happen. Alas! It’s not to be!

We must practice. We must reflect and hopefully learn something from our reflection that we can apply to the process to improve the next iteration. Then, we must practice some more.

If you have the opportunity to observe children, I encourage you to do so, and while you’re doing that, think about this: There was a time when we didn’t know how to do any of the things we do, many of them effortlessly, today. As children, we didn’t necessarily think about how hard it might be, or whether we would fail, we just tried stuff. And we kept trying until we mastered whatever it was. We practiced.

Practice something today — intentionally — and see if it doesn’t make a difference. Then come back and post a comment so we can all learn with you.

 

 

/by

Speaking of bursts!

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ll be aware that I started doing DDP Yoga nearly a year ago. It’s a DVD-based program I do at home, and have loaded on my laptop so I can yoga when I travel, as well. One of the routines is called Red Hot Core. It’s a little more than 12 minutes of core work that will leave you feeling as if your abs will never move, again!

So for 11 months now, I’ve been doing DDP Yoga fairly consistently three times a week. I’ve added in time on my stationary bike (up to 53 minutes from the 30 I started at, and at a higher level of resistance), and do my best to hit the local Pilates class at least once a week.

Today, I did two of the DDP routines — Fat Burner and Red Hot Core. I haven’t done RHC for a while, but today I did the entire routine, start to finish, with all of the reps of the various moves, without stopping. THIS IS A FIRST! Not to say that my abs weren’t twitching and trembling and threatening to “charlie horse” in the middle of it, but I did it.

I did it. All of it.

It was, as one of my mentors, Chet Scott, would say, a burst — the result of consistently doing the work, day in and day out, mundane mostly, but sticking to it because you know it’s the right thing to do…and eventually, you get the pay-off.

Funny how things work; I received this blog post in my email just a bit ago…It’s from Chet, about the burst. Today I saw the pay-off (at least in one area of my life). Hope you enjoy it.

My question to you is this: What are the mundane things you know you need to do to achieve your heart’s desires? Because that is how you get there…doing the mundane day in and day out until you have manifested your desire into being. If your desire is strong enough, if it burns within you, you will sustain the activities required to get there. Some of you know what I’m talking about.

Stick with it…you’ll see results. It will be worth it. I can speak from experience.

 

/by