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Gold or Platinum?

To follow the Golden Rule or the Platinum Rule?                       

We’re all familiar with the Golden Rule, right? You know the one: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” 

Simply put: Treat others the way you want to be treated. 

Sounds good, doesn’t it? But how does it really work in practice? 

Let’s consider a couple I once knew, Matthew and Katie. Katie is a stay-at-home-mom, who happens to be an extrovert. Katie spends a lot of time with small children during the day, with little substantive interactions with adults – which is how she recharges her batteries. Matthew works outside the home and happens to be in introvert; he enjoys being with people throughout the day but it drains his battery, so he needs time alone to recharge. 

When they are apart – during the work day or on the rare occasion when one of them gets away for some “alone” time – they follow the Golden Rule; each treating the other the way they want to be treated. Katie, looking to charge her batteries, calls Matthew frequently, just to check in and chat. Matthew, on the other hand, is less likely to call Katie when she has some alone time as he knows how much he values it when he has alone time. Both end up frustrated because they are getting what the other wants/needs, but not what they desire for themselves. 

So, what would change if they followed the Platinum Rule? It says: “Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves.” 

Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves.

Simply put: Treat others the way they would prefer to be treated – not the way you want to be treated.

The wise soul who coined this phrase recognized that “one size does not fit all”!

If Matthew and Katie were to practice the Platinum Rule, then Matthew would make a point to call and check in with Katie more often, knowing she needs more contact and wants to talk about what’s going on throughout the day, or what she’s up to when she gets to go out without the kids. Katie would recognize that Matthew needs more quiet time to himself, and wouldn’t call to check in as often or interrupt his alone time just to see what he’s up to while they are apart.

This change in behavior would require some thoughtful attention, because it would require each of them to step out of their comfort zone and focus on the needs of the other first, rather than to assume what they want is what the other wants, as well.

Take it one step further and consider how it might work at work or in organizations you are involved in. Take recognition for example. Some people crave public recognition for their accomplishments, others cringe at the thought and would prefer to do anything but be recognized publicly. If you aren’t aware of these preferences, you could make a stellar mistake and damage key relationships by making the wrong move. 

How would this awareness and change in behavior change the organizational dynamics and morale of your teams and companies? What if we could step outside ourselves more often and focus on what others need? 

It’s true: If you help others get what they want, they will be more willing and interested in helping you get what you want. It’s a key foundation for effective leadership.

What could you learn by practicing the Platinum Rule?

What relational dynamics could you change?

How much more satisfying could your work and personal lives be, if you practiced the Platinum Rule? 

I wonder…would love to hear your thoughts.   

—
Laura L. Prisc, Founder

Leadership & Life Potential, LLC
Helping you grow into your leadership and life potential…
304.916.0348
 
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Are you living on “Someday Isle”?

Picture it…beautiful, sunny, tropical island. You’ve seen it in travel brochures, Corona commercials, and countless web links. Amazingly clean white sandy beaches, palm trees, a hammock or oh-so-comfy lounge chair overlooking ocean that is an impossibly blue-green color. Sounds delightful? Unfortunately, it’s the wrong place!

Several weeks ago, I was on a coaching call with a client and he shared this quote with me: “On the road to success, we often find ourselves living on Someday Isle,” attributed to Brian Tracy. (My sincere apologies, Brian, if I didn’t get it exactly right.) This thought has reverberated through my brain ever since.

On the road to success, we often find ourselves living on Someday Isle.

Clearly, the Isle is not some tropical island in the South Pacific; what he’s really referring to is “someday I’ll,” as in “someday, I will…” presumably do something, that one seems to never really get around to.

Sad to say, I am intimately familiar with this Isle; it is the place a dear woman once in my life repeatedly told me she was going to get to “one of these first days.” I resisted the urge to ask her exactly which days on the calendar “these first days” were, because in my heart I knew they would never appear on any calendar and she would never do any of those things she spoke of.  Perhaps she, too, recognized she would never do those things either, and maybe it felt better to her to say it that way than to admit she had no intention of following through. Maybe she thought it would feel better to those people who would someday be on the receiving end of all those delightful things she said she would do “one of these first days.” I don’t know about the rest of them, but it left me feeling disappointed and sad.

I have to admit, I struggle with procrastination, as well. Not on the very important things, most of the time. But I sometimes find myself wanting to do the easier things, the more rewarding things before tackling the things that will be less immediately rewarding but are important nonetheless. As I’m becoming more self-aware, I am quicker about recognizing my lapses in focus and can get back on track faster than I did earlier in my life.

With increased self-awareness, I strive to be more intentional in my thoughts and actions, with a keener awareness of the consequences of my actions and inactions. And I recognize that when I procrastinate, I am the one who really loses. And I am acutely aware that this is “not a dress rehearsal.” It’s important to me that I not reach a point in my life when I look back and say things like: I’m so sad I never….I wish I would have gotten around to doing…I wonder how my life would have been different if only I had…

I’m currently reading The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, by John Maxwell; I’m currently facilitating a Mastermind Group studying this book.  In one of the early chapters, John recounts a lesson he learned about procrastination and his focus on “do it now.” It’s a mantra he repeats each day before rising and each night before drifting off to sleep. I think it’s invaluable advice; a practice I am working on myself.

This is truly a hard habit to break. So allow yourself time to develop and internalize new habits, ones that better serve you and what you are striving to achieve. The key is getting started. And there’s no time like today, right now, this minute!

What are you procrastinating about getting done?

What are you missing out on by continuing to put things off?

Just how much time are you willing to spend on Someday Isle?

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Small miracles, revisited

It’s been a week since I said I wanted to start a movement and challenged you to ask the simple question, “If you could have a small miracle today, what would it be?”

I wonder, have you done it?

I have asked a number of people and have received some interesting responses. Most notably, several people repeated the question, seemingly rolling it around in their mouths to really get the feel for it before responding…and when they did, they typically said they had pretty much what they needed, and didn’t feel the need to ask for anything more. 

I got the sense they really appreciated the simple gesture of my asking the question and then truly listening to their response.

I did, however, have the opportunity to act in a few cases. I did a little research on invitations for a co-worker who is planning a birthday party for her twin boys, with a “spy” theme. I provided more than a few people with Hershey’s dark chocolate kisses. One person wanted to send “peace” to someone she was once close to, whom she knows is struggling with some serious issues. Of course, I’m not powerful enough to actually put this person at peace, but I can send focused, positive thoughts in the right direction.

So, the week may be over but the opportunity is ever present. I will continue to ask the question and do my best to respond to the needs of the people around me.

What about you? What response did you get when you asked the question, and how did you respond? How did you feel? 

Please, don’t be shy…we’re all waiting to hear your stories…just click into the “comments” box below!

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