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Work-Life Balance is a fallacy!

If you work full time, you are likely all too aware that there is no such thing as “work-life balance.” It’s a fallacy, a lie, an illusion, a figment of someone’s overactive imagination, a blatant untruth! Balance implies some equality on each side of the scale, some level of fairness of the elements being measured.

Think about it. We all have 24 hours a day. We sleep 7-8 hours. We are at work, typically, between 8-10 hours each day. What about your commute time? Maybe 30 minutes round trip, possibly even an hour? So far, that’s about 15.5 hours on the short end and up to 19 hours on the long end of the range.

What about time to eat, exercise, run errands, read, reflect, play… Time for extra-curricular activities — either your children’s or your own — volunteering, sitting on a Board for another organization, taking classes…

Don’t forget about time for your family! Yep, that’s the important one, isn’t it? We all say family is our highest priority and yet they are often the people who get our leftovers in terms of time and energy.

We’d like to think we could have it all, but we know it’s not possible. Even the influential and powerful discover this — if they are lucky! Read this story about Erin Callan, former CFO of Lehman Brothers, as she discusses the sacrifices she made in terms of her marriage and family in exchange for the prestige, power, and money afforded by her position. Was it really worth it?

What if you were introduced to an entirely different concept: Mastery of the art of living. Try this on for size:

A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both. — LP Jacks

What if you could master the art of living? It’s possible, you know? It’s not effortless, but wouldn’t it be worth it?

The key is (is this familiar?) having a high level of self-awareness — understanding your values, priorities, and dreams — and intentionality — deliberately making decisions and taking steps that lead you to the place you long to be, honoring your values daily.

My recommendation…find a mentor or a coach who has been along this path before you and enlist their support in your quest.

Let me know how I can help…before it’s too late.

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Intentional Leadership — M2 Relationships — Review

We’ve just spent the last four weeks focusing on relationships and the critical role they play in our success as leaders. As the poet John Donne said, “No man is an island entire of itself; every an is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Each and every one of us is a piece of a bigger whole. While we might like to think we can do it all ourselves, we cannot. And it leads to a very isolated and lonely existence. I speak from experience here, as I think I’ve shared in previous blogs. I used to believe I could be “Superwoman” and do it all myself…but it’s exhausting, disheartening, and discouraging. The results were never as good as they would have been had I involved others. And I often found myself feeling resentful of others for not stepping up and doing their part; why would they, when I made it clear I didn’t need or want them!

We do not live in isolation, but in relationship to others. Real connections with others offer joy and give our lives meaning. They push us to be better than we would be alone, to reach greater heights than we could ever climb alone. Rich and lasting relationships require time, commitment, and self-sacrifice, but their benefits more than compensate for the investment.

If you take some time to think about leaders you respect, you’ll realize they have built rich “relational” bank accounts; they have developed strong relationships with a variety of people and get energy and sustenance from them. When you truly invest in others and nurture your relationships over time, they are sometimes the only stable, consistent thing you can count on in uncertain times.

In fact, when times get tough, experience, hard work, and talent alone will not save you. If you need any kind of external support — a job, money, advice, hope, mentoring, help, or even a client…your extended circle of friends and associates will be the place to turn to meet those needs. However, if you have not invested in relationships, you may find yourself standing alone.

My questions to you are these:

What did you learn about yourself with respect to relationships over the course of this past month?

What are you doing differently as a result?

How are your relationships changing as a result of your taking different actions and demonstrating different behaviors?

How different are your results, with this new perspective?

What will you do to intentionally invest in the lives of others?

On Monday, we will move into Month 3 of this Intentional Leadership Journey, focusing on Excellence. Again, I am sharing this with you as I walk through this same journey, based on the Intentional Leadership booklet I received through the Chick-fil-A Leadercast (created by Giant Impact) that I attended in May 2012.

Let me know how this journey is changing your thinking and your performance.

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Intentional Leadership — D4, W4, M2 — Relationships

Time to get your journal out. Take some time today to reflect on the response you received from your intentional act of service yesterday.

How did your action affect your relationship with that person?

How did your self-less action strengthen your family or team?

When you’ve given that some time, reflect on the actions you have taken this month to add value to others, to encourage them in their potential, and to put your team’s agenda in front of your own. What new synergy has been created on your team as a result of your leadership in relationships?

Speaking from personal experience, I can attest to the fact that when I am intentional about doing things for others — when I focus on touching their heart before I ask for a hand — I reap the benefits in many ways. I form deeper, stronger relationships with others, which is far more satisfying – for me, anyway – than shallow interactions. I learn from them. I am better able to to help others because I come to understand who they are and what they need. And I have to say, I love doing the acts of kindness.

Sometimes it’s a stretch trying to tailor an act to someone specific — to do something for them that they will actually appreciate, rather than giving them something I think they should have. For example, last night, I brought home a bag of Jelly Belly’s for my husband — I know he loves them! Quick, simple, results in a smile.

What has your experience been?

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