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The Birthday Fight — a story of perseverance!

Folks: As you know, this month I am writing about perseverance, and while updating my Facebook page today, I came across this story from my friend and accountant, Rebecca Dimit. It struck me immediately as a tale of perseverance in many aspects. I asked her for permission to share it with you, and she graciously agreed. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

“For the past few months, my three year old son, JJ, has been planning (on his own) a suprise birthday fight for my dad’s birthday. So we decided to make the party a suprise also. In April, JJ loaded up a bag of toy weapons and took them to my parents for the fight. He has been very persistant about it. He decided it would be boys against girls. He even planned out who would have what weapon.  He was so excited when the day had finally arrived!  Apparently, JJ had inherited some of Dad’s vision and ability to plan details and patiently wait for things to fall into place.

My sister from NC was here with her 3 babies (3 and under) and my brother and I and our families and several of dad’s closest friends and family where in attendance at the birthday party that evening. We grilled out on the grill Dad LOVED and ate dinner outside (something Dad enjoyed so much).  After the meal, JJ ran inside to get the small arsenal of weapons he had collected and began distributing them. Even my baby neice, Claire, (almost 2) had a small plastic dagger to hold while on my hip. My mom played Scotland the Brave on the bagpipes. I lead the girls team from around the house running and shouting “Charge.” Mom continued to play while we “fought” with toy guns, swords, bow and arrows, baseball bats, etc to the beautiful ancient war music.  It was the most fun and fabulous birthday fight I have ever seen. After the battle, we had a moment of silence, then mom played Amazing Grace for the wounded.  Dad thought it was hilarious. 🙂  We got some video and great pictures of Dad with the family.

Later that night, we got all the kids to go to sleep and my sibilings and I sat around the kitchen table talking and laughing.  Mom finally wore out and went upstairs to bed at midnight.  She passed Dad in the hallway, they kissed.  He patted her on the butt (as he often did).  Then he sat down at the computer and Mom went to bed.  A few minutes later he had the stroke.  The last thing he heard was the laughter of his children and the sweet silence of knowing that we were all there in the house safe, happy, and loved.

He died quickly and practically painlessly.  My Dad had amazing vision and planned out every detail of everything.  He couldn’t have arranged a more perfect time for death. God arranged every detail perfectly.  Dad never gave up a fight.  He taught me to fight with determination and faith.  He was one of my closest friends and valued advisors, when I wanted to complete my college degree in less than the traditional length of time, he showed me how to obtain special permission to take more credit hours than the college allowed (after being denied by a few school officials) by encouraging to me keep fighting it until I got what I wanted.  He never stopped encouraging me to take the CPA exam and in the 13 years of that journey, he was the only one who told me not to give up on my dream.  He knew I could do it and I never would have if it weren’t for my Dad.

I respect my Dad and am so proud of him and his life.  He was anxiously anticipating his retirement. He had accomplished almost everything he set out to do for his life and was finally ready to rest.  In my soul, I  know that Dad is enjoying the best retirement ever now.  He didn’t get to buy the sports car he always wanted, instead he can soar through the clouds.  He didn’t get to travel the world with mom, instead he got to see the moon and stars.  He didn’t get to build his dream house, instead he is living in a mansion far more perfect and wonderful than he could have ever imagined.  He didn’t get the state position he often mentioned he wanted, instead he is now in kahoots with the very top dog.  I know Dad is in Heaven anticipating the arrival of each of us.  If he could talk to us, he would encourage us to keep fighting and never give up.  II Timothy 4:7-8 says, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day…”  Wednesday, June 8’th, Dad finished his fight.  Even in his death he will be helping other people.  What more could a person ask for in death?

My six year old daughter, Lacey was sad at first, but yesterday she woke up and said with a big smile that she wasn’t sad anymore. She was so excited that Poppie was up in Heaven walking around with Jesus. 🙂  My neice Kylee had a similar reaction. Throughout their childhood, both the girls and JJ have been told often about how wonderful Heaven is with beautiful dresses, crowns, and castles. I wanted to nurture the beautiful image of Heaven and make it something they could anticipate in such an event as this.

I appreciate each of Dad’s friends and family so much and the love and support you have offered us during this time of grief. Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and sympathy. We will need them over the years. We are a very close family so the pain is deep, but also, we have each other to lean on during this time and above all we have the comfort of knowing that Dad is finally getting the rest he has worked so hard for all his life.”

Thank you, Rebecca, for sharing your story with all of us!

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Intentional Leadership — Month 6 — Perseverance

The reality of leadership is that it requires hard work and regular investments of energy and sweat!

As a leader, there will be times when you encounter resistance. There will be times when you question whether the time, energy, and effort are worth it. There will be times when you feel like giving up. What you choose to do in your darkest moments will define you as a leader. When adversity comes to call, will you fade into the background or will you persist in fighting to move forward?

The truth is, nobody advances in leadership by coasting to the top. Leaders are distinguished by struggling upward through the daily grind.

Consider the story of Nelson Mandela. He was convicted of treason and sentenced to a life of hard labor in prison for his anti-apartheid convictions. For 18 years, he lived in a cramped cell and toiled in a rock quarry. Each year, he was allowed 30 minutes with a visitor and could receive and send only two letters. These were his only opportunities to communicate with the outside world.

It’s reasonable for you to assume that since I’m telling you his story as a lesson in perseverance, you already know what choices he made with respect to fading away — allowing some pretty depressing circumstances to alter the course of his life — or choosing to persist.

His perseverance and strength of character over those 18 years he was incarcerated earned him the respect of everyone, including his prison guards! Rather than drifting into obscurity while in prison, Mandela boosted his image while in prison. When he was released, he emerged with a higher profile than ever and leveraged his influence to bring about liberty and a democratic South Africa.

No small feats, indeed!

As we move into month six on our Intentional Leadership journey, take a few minutes to consider your responses to the following questions:

What unfavorable conditions are making your leadership difficult?

What steps can you take to remove or neutralize the sources of resistance on the job?

How might you grow stronger by enduring these hard times?

What rewards might you receive if you persevere through the toughest aspects of your job?

We will be digging deeper into these thoughts in the coming weeks. I’m looking forward to working through them with you.

In the meantime, have an intentional day!

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Intentional Leadership — D3, W2, M5 — Passion

Passion is powerful; we all know that. And it can be a force for good or a force for … well, not so good! The same passion that can make you the best in your field can also result in an insufferable ego! Often times, when we are really passionate about something, we can be easily offended when someone disagrees with us or offers a different perspective on the topic.

I can say, humbly — I hope, this has happened to me. I strive to be more self-aware, however, and understand that it’s ok for others to have another perspective and that they don’t necessarily share my passion.

Today, think of someone who may have offended you as they touched upon your passion. Starting today, take a step to repair that relationship. One of the most profound ways to keep passion grounded on principle is through humility.

Pick one of these options to start the healing / forgiveness process today:

1. Contact the person and begin reconnecting. Before you take this step, however, it’s important that you forgive them and approach the connection with an open heart.

2. Write the person a note and mail it today! Acknowledge your part in whatever happened and ask them for their forgiveness; tell them you value the relationship and want to repair it. As you drop the note into the outgoing mail box, tell yourself that you forgive them for their part. Truly let go of the conflict as you release the letter.

3. Speak with the person today. Let them know you need to ask their forgiveness for being upset with them. Let them know you may not have understood the full situation, allowed yourself to become upset and held it against them. End the conversation with this simple question: “Will you forgive me?”

Which one will you choose?

I can say from experience, there’s something very liberating in this process. It may not always end with the relationship repaired and things between you back the way they were…but you will feel better for owning your part, for making the move to begin the healing process, and for having some closure of the situation.

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