Posts

Intentional Leadership – Day 5 (M1, W1) Vision

Ah, another Friday! Are you prepared for the weekend?

As we come to the end of this first week on our Intentional Leadership journey, it’s time to think about how we will spend the weekend. If you are like many, you will heave a sigh of relief of having made it through another whirlwind, hectic week.

Would it surprise you to know that some people actually thoughtfully plan for the weekends – before the weekend arrives? It’s true!

I must confess, I’m not one of them – at least not 99% of the time. If we plan to go somewhere for the weekend, I am more mindful about the need to plan the time; it’s kind of a requirement when traveling with small children. But, if we are staying home for the weekend, I don’t plan, much to the frustration of my husband.

Oh, I do have a list in my mind of the various things I need to accomplish, errands that need to be run, and chores to complete, but I definitely don’t have a schedule mapped out. And, no surprise to anyone, I’m sure, many Sunday evenings arrive when I still have a bunch of things I did not get done. You know what they say about having good intentions…The good news (for me, at least!) is I’m aware of this pattern of behavior, which gives me the opportunity to rethink it and experiment with new processes that may provide a smoother rhythm to my and my family’s life.

What do you say we try another tactic on this journey we are on?

What if we thought about the weekend differently going forward?

What if we were intentional about defining our needs for the weekend and making time to meet them?

For example, if you work a traditional Monday-Friday schedule, the weekend is typically a time for rest, for fun, for spending with family. How much more satisfied would you feel on Sunday evenings if you actually approached the weekend with these needs in mind, with a plan?

Let’s start this week and see how it goes, ok?

I will meet family time by taking my son to an arts & crafts class, working on his homework, watching at least one episode of Blues Clues, and reading, at a minimum.

I will cook a turkey dinner for my husband, for the two of us to enjoy after he returns from hiking with a friend. This will serve double duty…with the cold, gray weather we’ve been having, I’m craving comfort food and cooking is very relaxing for me!

I will read at least an hour of something fun and an hour of something on growth.

I will call my parents. I will respond to some personal emails.

And I will spend some time preparing for Monday.

This is important! You know Monday is going to arrive; it always does. Take some time to think about how you want to feel on Monday, and what you need to do to feel prepared to start your new week off on a positive foot. Then take the steps over the weekend to set yourself up for success.

Finally, have you given much thought to the big things you have planned in the coming weeks? Are they in your planner? It’s been proven by so many people before us: Successful people are intentional, planning their time focused on their priorities. It’s a simple enough process, but requires focus and commitment. Are you ready for that? If not, get your calendar out and write it down.

Congratulations on making it through month one – week one, of the Intentional Leadership Journey. Next week we’ll focus on Seeing the Bigger Picture.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

/by

Is it worth it?

Is. It. Worth. It.

Four (well, ok, three with one repeat) small words that are so, so powerful. This short question applies to nearly any decision, transition, or turning point you will encounter in your life. And depending on the decision you make, you have the power to change not only your life but the lives of others around you — for better or worse.

A number of years ago, a friend shared with me a weight loss hypnosis program. The foundation is to be aware of what you are doing each time you take a bite or drink of something, and to make a conscious decision rather than mindlessly eating and drinking whatever is put in front of you.

I ask myself this question when I am tempted to indulge in dessert. For me, if I am going to consume something, it needs to taste as delicious as I expect it to, so that I can deem it worth the calories I am consuming. If not, the answer is clearly no, it’s not worth it; at least not for me.

Last week, I finished reading What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith, a very successful executive coach. There’s a section in the book in which he discusses encouraging his coaching clients to consider whether what they are about to say is worth it. It’s not only executives who could benefit from asking this simple question. The idea is to be aware of the potential impact and consequences of what you are about to say, including the way you would say it, on whomever you are speaking to.

I can think of a number of situations in which this question could prevent a lot of pain. Like when you’ve allowed someone to push your buttons and you are about to respond with a mean, hurtful remark. Like when you are in pain and want someone else to feel it, too. Like when you are already aware of what someone has decided to share with you, and you are tempted to say so — potentially giving the impression of superiority, or diminishing the value of the messenger and what they have to offer. Like when you are upset about something entirely disconnected to the person you’re with and are tempted to take it out on them.

Consider the value of this question when posed with a situation — perhaps an opportunity — that may be questionable. Meaning, it might seem like a good idea unless whatever it is were to become known publicly. In this case, it speaks to integrity (see earlier blog on “who are you when no one is looking”!). Are the risks and consequences worth whatever it is you think you will gain from doing whatever it is you are about to do?

What about when you are offered an opportunity that isn’t exactly on the path you’ve set for yourself? If the “detour” is a brief one, but offers the chance to learn a new skill, gain some new experience, or otherwise provide you with some benefit, and you can smoothly resume your journey, the answer may be yes; it may be worth it. If the “detour” will pull you in a very different direction than the path you’ve set for yourself, and you risk waking up one day in the future wondering “how in the world did I end up here? This isn’t what I wanted…” Well, in this case, it may not be worth it.

It applies when making financial decisions, as well. Do you purchase something simply because it carries a specific logo? Is your purchase decision based on quality? Is it based on the value you perceive the item to have, or based on the value others will perceive it to have?

I won’t pretend to imagine I know every single situation you may encounter when asking yourself this simple, yet oh-so-powerful question might save you — and those around you — some unnecessary pain, anxiety, discomfort, set-back on the way to your goals, but I do know there are numerous possibilities…daily.

The key is to be aware, to consider the potential risks, benefits, and consequences, and make a conscious decision about what to say or do next.

How could you benefit by taking the time to ask and answer this simple question:

Is it worth it?

I’ll leave the consideration to you. In the meantime, I encourage you to have an intentional day!

/3 Comments/by

Gold or Platinum?

To follow the Golden Rule or the Platinum Rule?                       

We’re all familiar with the Golden Rule, right? You know the one: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” 

Simply put: Treat others the way you want to be treated. 

Sounds good, doesn’t it? But how does it really work in practice? 

Let’s consider a couple I once knew, Matthew and Katie. Katie is a stay-at-home-mom, who happens to be an extrovert. Katie spends a lot of time with small children during the day, with little substantive interactions with adults – which is how she recharges her batteries. Matthew works outside the home and happens to be in introvert; he enjoys being with people throughout the day but it drains his battery, so he needs time alone to recharge. 

When they are apart – during the work day or on the rare occasion when one of them gets away for some “alone” time – they follow the Golden Rule; each treating the other the way they want to be treated. Katie, looking to charge her batteries, calls Matthew frequently, just to check in and chat. Matthew, on the other hand, is less likely to call Katie when she has some alone time as he knows how much he values it when he has alone time. Both end up frustrated because they are getting what the other wants/needs, but not what they desire for themselves. 

So, what would change if they followed the Platinum Rule? It says: “Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves.” 

Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves.

Simply put: Treat others the way they would prefer to be treated – not the way you want to be treated.

The wise soul who coined this phrase recognized that “one size does not fit all”!

If Matthew and Katie were to practice the Platinum Rule, then Matthew would make a point to call and check in with Katie more often, knowing she needs more contact and wants to talk about what’s going on throughout the day, or what she’s up to when she gets to go out without the kids. Katie would recognize that Matthew needs more quiet time to himself, and wouldn’t call to check in as often or interrupt his alone time just to see what he’s up to while they are apart.

This change in behavior would require some thoughtful attention, because it would require each of them to step out of their comfort zone and focus on the needs of the other first, rather than to assume what they want is what the other wants, as well.

Take it one step further and consider how it might work at work or in organizations you are involved in. Take recognition for example. Some people crave public recognition for their accomplishments, others cringe at the thought and would prefer to do anything but be recognized publicly. If you aren’t aware of these preferences, you could make a stellar mistake and damage key relationships by making the wrong move. 

How would this awareness and change in behavior change the organizational dynamics and morale of your teams and companies? What if we could step outside ourselves more often and focus on what others need? 

It’s true: If you help others get what they want, they will be more willing and interested in helping you get what you want. It’s a key foundation for effective leadership.

What could you learn by practicing the Platinum Rule?

What relational dynamics could you change?

How much more satisfying could your work and personal lives be, if you practiced the Platinum Rule? 

I wonder…would love to hear your thoughts.   

—
Laura L. Prisc, Founder

Leadership & Life Potential, LLC
Helping you grow into your leadership and life potential…
304.916.0348
 
/by