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This is not a dress rehearsal

YOLO. Surely you’ve heard this before today – You Only Live Once.

This simple fact is something that has been resident in my mind for some time, and I am fortunate to be reminded of it by others at varying intervals.

Take the chance meeting I had with a gentleman last August at the West Virginia State Chamber of Commerce Annual Business Meeting at the The Greenbrier Resort. There was an ice cream social on the agenda on the first day of the meeting.

Not one to miss a good hot fudge sundae (for me, this requires hand-dipped hard ice cream – no soft serve!), of course I stopped by one of the serving stations. I stood there for a few minutes pondering the level of bad manners I would be displaying if I picked up the bowl of hot fudge and asked the server to put a couple of scoops of vanilla into it, rather than ask for the ice cream and put some hot fudge on it. Finally, having allowed my better manners to prevail, I started to turn away, delicious dessert in hand, when I noticed the man who had come up behind me. His name tag indicated he worked for a private university system where a good friend also works. I used the opportunity to introduce myself. Little did I know it was a divine appointment in the making!

Having someone in common, and in need of a place to sit and enjoy our sundaes, we made our way over to a table and sat down to eat and chat. Three hours later, we were surprised to be interrupted by the banquet staff, needing us to relocate as they needed to reset the room for a dinner that evening.

It was a profound and interesting conversation as he shared his dreams, his longing to do something bigger and more meaningful than what his daily work amounted to, and his realization that time was passing quickly. “This isn’t a dress rehearsal,” he said, painfully aware that each day he puts off actively pursuing his dream of writing a book, the closer he is to the day when it will be too late. We’ve spoken several times since then, and I don’t believe he is any closer to getting started.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve been listening to JoDee Messina this week. This morning, another song grabbed by attention as I was thinking about this concept of only living once. Here it is:

Was that My Life*

I don’t want to be the one who’s old before their time

And lose the wonder that I felt as a child

I can’t run this race believing I might lose

Still so much to see, so much left to do

Yes, I’ll fall more than I’ll fly

But no one can say I never tried

We just get one ride around the sun in this dream of time

It goes so fast, then one day we look back and we ask:

Was that my life?

I close my eyes and think how lucky I have been

To hold the ones I love and share my dreams with them

All those sunny days and all those starry skies

Good morning kisses and sweet goodnights

I can’t tell them enough just how much they are loved

We just get one ride around the sun in this dream of time

It goes so fast, then one day we look back and we ask:

Was that my life?

I appreciate these reminders, as they keep me focused on doing the things I need to each day, so I don’t need to worry about that day coming and being full of the “I wish I would have…” angst and disappointment. It’s a work in progress for me.

How about you?

What matters most to you?

What do you long to do?

What change do you want to make in the world?

Who do you need to reconnect with, make amends with?

What adventures do you yearn to go on?

Whatever it is, what do you need to do today to get started moving in the direction of your purpose, your future?

As the man said: This is not a dress rehearsal.

I encourage you to make the most of every day, knowing you will fall before you fly, but if you persist you will get there!

/by

Bring on the Rain!

I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience lately. Contemplating what it is that allows some people to emerge from adversity and change, stronger and more confident, ready for whatever comes next, while others sink into defeat, seemingly unable to overcome whatever hardship they have experienced.

About 10 years ago, my sister took me to see George Strait in concert, in Seattle. JoDee Messina opened for him. Prior to that night, she wasn’t really on my musical radar, but she put on a good show and it turned out I loved a lot of her songs. Last week, I rediscovered her while browsing the CD racks at Wal-Mart. I picked up her Greatest Hits CD (yes, I know — I’m out of sync with the times, not buying it in iTunes!). I’ve been enjoying it immensely, and have found myself playing one song over and over and over in the car. Here it is:

Bring on the Rain*

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It’s almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing, but I’m not dead

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

I appreciate the recognition that sometimes life is really hard, overwhelming even, and sometimes we need a time out. Time to breathe, regroup, and prepare to meet the challenges of life on a new day…and yet, we are undefeated; we are resilient; we will rise, again, to face whatever challenges that will emerge in our lives.

So, what is it that allows us to declare “I am not afraid!” Certainly, I’ve experienced adversity, profound pain, and what some may define as failure. But  every single time, I’ve woken up the next morning, and forged ahead to face life head-on…unsure how I would handle whatever came next, and yet, knowing down deep that come what may, I would do my best and keep moving.

After some reflection, I think resilience comes from a fundamental belief in ourselves, our value, our expectation that we are here to do something important — a healthy level of faith that all will be well in time. It’s borne of courage and confidence and the knowledge that the experience brings growth; having survived whatever the situation, we will emerge stronger and better able to make our way through whatever comes next.

What change are you working your way through?

Will you allow it to consume you and flavor the rest of your life?

Will you emerge stronger and more confident?

How resilient are you?

What is the foundation for your resilience?

 

What does this song say to you?

*Thank you to JoDee Messina, Tim McGraw, Billy Montana, and Helen Darling for sharing this song with us.

/by

Trumpeting the Vision — D3, W3, M1 — Intentional Leadership — Vision

So, what did you learn yesterday about the communication methods you are using to share your vision?

Spend some time today to reflect on what you’ve learned, what it means, and what you now need to do to communicate your vision more consistently and effectively, so it sticks, with your team/organization.

Is it time to refine your vision statement more clearly and simply?

Have you clearly articulated the “Why” behind your vision? What’s the compelling reason for you to strive for it? What will happen to your team/organization if you don’t reach it?

If you haven’t heard this already, it might be helpful to know that the most popular radio station in the world is WII FM (or What’s In It For Me?). You need to be able to help your people make the personal connection between themselves as individuals–then the team, then the organization–to your vision. If you can do this effectively, you will be way ahead of the game. And the way to do this is to really get to know your people, what inspires them? What motivates them? What do they want to do, be, or have more of?

Do you need to put different benchmarks in place to measure your progress along the path to your vision? If so, what are they? And what are the key milestones you will need to reach along the way?

Once the measurements have been clearly defined, how will you celebrate when you reach them? And how will you reward your team members for their efforts?

Next, it’s time to thoughtfully map out your communication plan: Audience, Key Messages, Vehicles (primary and secondary), Timing, Owner, Outcome, Status, and Review. Successful leader-communicators consistently spend 80% of their time (with respect to communication) planning the communication and only 20% actually communicating. While it may seem counter-intuitive because it’s so easy to open our mouths and speak, truly effective communication does not just happen!

Your plan is nearly finished! Now, outline the key action steps needed to implement the plan, including who owns each action, what the expected deadlines are, and what the outcomes should be.

Now that you have an initial draft of your plan put together, who can you ask to review it? Find a trusted advisor or mentor and ask for their candid feedback before you take the plan to your team/organization.

It may sound like a lot of time-consuming effort, but I promise you the time you spend thoughtfully considering and planning your work will pay off in the end, with a more thorough, thoughtful, carefully crafted approach and it will show in the results.

/by