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If you’ve been in any kind of leadership role, and I suspect you have — or aspire to, since you’re reading this blog — you know what it feels like to be doubted, assaulted, ridiculed. You’ve likely faced embarrassing moments, ridicule…had your decisions and judgment questioned by others.

The question is, how do you respond? And, I do me an”respond” — meaning thoughtfully, intentionally choosing what you will do or say, rather than reacting, which is immediate, emotional, and usually thoughtless. The point is, you get to choose your attitude during these trying times.

Consider one who has gone before us…

President Truman faced his share of doubt, rejection, and failure…let’s consider his story for a few moments:

When he first proposed to his girlfriend, Bess, Wallace, she rejected him. He pursued her, anyway, and eight years later they married.

He was rejected when he tried to join the Army because his eyesight was poor. Refusing to be kept from serving his country, he memorized the eye chart so he could pass the test! He later won distinction for courageous leadership in battle.

After WWI, his business failed. He moved into a career in public service, as a judge and later was elected to the US Senate.

Although he was considered unfit to be a US President, he successfully led us through the end of WWI; he is now regarded as one of the greatest presidents!

Expected to lose the 1948 election, newspaper printed that his opponent, Thomas Dewey, had won! Imagined Truman’s delight in their misprint the next morning!

If you stay the course, and I hope you do, you will go through these trying times, over and over. You will have to filter and choose the messages you will listen to and the stories you believe. You will have the opportunity, several times a day, to choose your attitude. I hope you choose well.

Spend some time in reflection today: How do you deal with assaults on your attitude?

Describe a time when you felt as if your attitude was under attack. How did you respond?

What did you learn?

What would you do differently today, as a result?

How can your choices influence your attitude?

How can your attitude influence your choices?

Today, let’s spend some time in visualization. Give some thought to where your life will be in one month, three months, six months, and one year, if you follow through on the actions you outlined yesterday. How will others be impacted if you choose a positive attitude rather than a negative one? Write out your thoughts, connected with specific people.

One Month

Three Months

Six Months

One Year

Remember, this is a journey and a process. Don’t set yourself up for frustration with the expectation you must be perfect and respond perfectly to the events that happen in your life. The idea is to experience the experiences, feel the feelings, and make a choice in how you will respond and move forward. My yoga mentor, Diamond Dallas Page, advises us to “live life at 90%,” meaning that 10% is what happens to us in life and 90% is how we choose to deal with it. He focuses on the 90% and strives to make the most and best of that…essentially, choosing one’s attitude.

What will you choose?

Over the course of your life, you will experience a variety of things that will have the power to influence your outlook in both positive and negative ways. As I suggested last week, as we started this month-long focus on attitude, each of us gets to choose how we interpret and react or respond to each of those events.

When I was in high school, I was active in student government, wrote for and eventually became editor of the school newspaper, and was very active in planning school events, like homecoming week. We also had a program called Jr. Miss. This was a national program, and while it might appear to be a pageant program, it is based on scholarship, personality, and talent — not on beauty, and there was no swimsuit competition!  Girls were invited to participate in the program during their Junior year of high school; the winner would spend the year representing her community at other pageants, in parades, county fairs, local events, at a variety of speaking engagements, and competing at the state level pageant (the winner of which would compete at the national competition that was held, at that time, in Mobile, Alabama).

My perspective on Jr. Miss was that it was something the popular, wealthy girls won. I had my share of friends, to be sure, and was included in a lot of things, but was never in the “in” crowd, and certainly was not from a wealthy family. But, when I received the invitation to get involved, I said, “What the heck! This looks like fun!” Of course, I never expected to win.

In fact, at the time, I was also running for student body president for my senior year of school. That was truly where my attention and energy was focused. And for a while, I was the front runner. My opponent was a girl who rubbed a lot of students the wrong way. Part way through the campaign, she switched places with the person who would have been VP, had she won, and he was much more liked by most of the school.  So, with him in the President position, and her in the VP position, the vote was much closer, and I lost by a few votes.

I was crushed! I really wanted the position. And yet, the Jr. Miss pageant process was still on-going. Because I was participating in this on a lark, as they say, you can imagine my surprise — and delight — when I actually won the Jr. Miss position!  Remember, it wasn’t what I most wanted, but I determined to make the best of it.  I choose my attitude, deciding to learn what I could, represent my community well, and sharpen some skills that I knew would serve me well later in life.

It offered me the opportunity to travel around certain regions in my state, visiting with a lot of people I never would have been in contact with in other circumstances: Community leaders, local legislators, other students, and people younger than me. I had the opportunity to speak at fairs, other pageants, in front of civic organizations, at schools, parades, and at community events. I was able to influence other young girls who were interested in growing and taking on bigger challenges. And I received scholarship funding for college, and who wouldn’t be thankful for that?!

All of these skills and experiences have served me well ever since. And I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to participate, and for all of the opportunities I’ve had since then. Had I chosen to wallow in self-pity over my defeat during the student body elections, I would have stunted my growth, at least for a while. I could have become angry, bitter, etc…I’m so thankful I didn’t.

What experiences have you had that have influenced your life and your attitude? Write them down.

Outline whether they were negative or positive and what you did or didn’t do as a result?

What gratitude do you have, or what regrets do you carry, as a result?

How do these experiences influence who you are today?

Whom are you influencing with your attitude and how you respond to the events in your life, both good and bad?