How did your self-assessment go yesterday?
Today, let’s get an outside perspective and find out how close our self-pereption is to that of others.
Find a close friend or colleague, someone you trust, and share your homework from yesterday. Ask them how they would rate you on the same five areas. It’s important that you do this exercise with someone who will be really frank with you, as getting feedback with someone who will not tell you the truth will not really help.
Five elements for building great relationships:
Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?
Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?
Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?
Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.
Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?
If your self-assessment is close to that of your colleague’s, then you should consider yourself reasonably self-aware. If you find some gaps, I encourage you to consider them an opportunity for growth. Spend some time in reflection, so you understand the disconnects and determine if it’s worth making some changes.
We’ll be spending this whole month on relationships, so don’t rush through this part.
On a personal note, I am doing some homework along this line in preparation for Think Tank Day — part of the John Maxwell Team training I’ll be attending next week. The first step was to write a third-person description of myself, providing an overview of my personalities, including strengths and weaknesses. After I have my description written, I will share it with a few people who know me well and whose opinions I respect, to see how close I come to how others perceive me. It could be a truly eye-opening experience. I’m excited to find out!
