Coach or Mentor?

I’ve been in corporate America for more than 22 years, now, and for a lot of that time I’ve heard a lot of people talk about providing coaching to other employees. I’ve also heard — and read — a lot about mentoring programs — both formal and informal.

While the discussions seem to be focused on the same preferred outcome — improvement in some level of a person’s performance, over time, I came to the conclusion that while people were using different terms — coach and mentor — they were really talking about the same activity. To wit, what they are really doing is advising, guiding, directing, sharing the benefit of their experience, and often saying things that sound like, “If I were you, I would…” In essence, they are talking about mentoring.

And there is absolutely a lot of value in mentoring people (or being mentored) when you have the opportunity. But mentoring is not coaching.

What’s the difference you might ask? There’s a world of difference, and here it is: Coaches don’t have all the answers and they don’t attempt to provide any! In fact, when I’m discussing coaching with people I tell them I don’t have any of the answers — at least not any of their answers — but I do have all the questions…questions that will help them find the answers — their answers.

You see, we function from different values, beliefs, and experiences. So, the decisions I make and actions I take will make sense for me within my paradigm. But they may be all wrong for you and because you will recognize this, you won’t likely act on my direction. If I can help you draw out the values, beliefs, fears, hopes, and whatever other factors are affecting your ability to make decisions and take actions, then I will be able to add more value.

Think about it; if I can help you come to the solution on your own, it will fit you better, and you will be significantly more likely to follow through than if I tell you what I think you should do. Based on experience, I think it will feel better, too.

I’m now on a bit of a mission to distinguish between coaching and mentoring. Again, not because one is inherently better than the other; it really depends on who you are, what situation you are facing, and how you want to approach finding a path forward. I simply want people to recognize there is a difference and to be able to recognize it when they see it.

And I admit I often function in both roles, sometimes with the same people on the same day! You see, I’ve been working in all areas of communication for more than 20 years, so I have a lot of experience in strategies and tactics one might want to use to communicate more effectively. So, I am absolutely qualified to mentor someone in this area. But you wouldn’t want me to mentor you in the area of finance, or scientific methods, or how to play a sport…or a myriad of other things.

At the same time, I’m qualified to coach people who are striving to achieve something in a number of areas in which I have no expertise whatsoever…remember, as a coach, my role is not to tell you how to do anything. My role is to truly listen to what you say, to observe how you say it, and ask you the kinds of questions that make you really think.

If you haven’t worked with a coach, I encourage you to try it. I promise, if you truly engage — and you find a true coach (not a mentor) — the experience will change your life. It’s a proven way to implement significant and lasting change.

Interested? I offer complimentary sessions.

What would you like to change?

How are you approaching it?

How will you know if the path you choose is the right one for you?