Are you a drama queen?

I’ve been involved in a couple of different situations of late that have brought the principles outlined in the Drama lesson of the Empowerment Mentoring program front and center for me. Follow along, and spend a few minutes reflecting on these thoughts to see if you may be creating some unnecessary drama in your life.

The key principle that is most active around me, recently, is this: Assuming malicious intent from others OR acting with malicious intent. Specifically, assigning motives to others, in the belief that one knows what someone else is trying to accomplish in a given situation, without the benefit of having a conversation with the person to discover what is actually going on.

Have you participated in a relationship in which you made certain assumptions about another person’s motives, that later turned out to be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation? First, it’s human nature to make up stories about what’s going on around us, because we like to have closure and we have a strong need for things to make sense. So, we pull in bits and pieces of information, snatches of conversation, and we make up stories that make sense to us, based on our values, beliefs, and life experiences. This doesn’t mean that the stories we come up with are based in reality, only that they make sense to us. The problem here is the stories we concoct are often far from the truth…simply because we are missing key facts.

The other consideration is that Intent does NOT equal Impact! It’s important to consider that there are times when we speak or act  that what we intend to happen is not the outcome we get. What that means is, we are sometimes the author of some of the drama in our lives, because we are not fully self-aware or as intentional as we might be. And we also tend to make assumptions about the intent and behaviors of others in our lives.

If you’re experiencing drama in your life, I encourage you to spend some time in reflection and come to an understanding of the role you are playing in the situation.

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I hit a new low last Friday…

I hit a new low last Friday, and it was a delightful experience. It was on my scale!

The number that appeared on my scale early Friday morning isn’t important to anyone except me, and truly even the number isn’t the most important thing about this experience. What is, is the person I’m becoming.

My son turned 7 years old at the end of November. In December, I was finally at a weight a few pounds lower than I was when I got pregnant. For most of that time in between, I wished I would lose the weight — and I had lost most of it, hovering near my pre-pregnancy weight for much of that time — and feel better and get back in shape, but I didn’t really do anything to make it happen.

About 18 months ago, I started making some changes in eating and drinking habits. Last July, I started doing DDP Yoga at least four times a week. It’s not the kind of yoga that encourages quiet meditation; it makes me sweat, twitch, and tremble, and I love it! I’m still making changes in my approach to health. I try to get a brisk walk in on non-yoga days. I eat smaller portions and healthier snacks. The lure of the fast food drive-in no longer has power over me. I quite drinking coffee every morning because when I really thought about it, it didn’t taste like anything. I have even (wait — are you sitting down? This is BIG!!) stopped eating chocolate chips by the handful every day! I do treat myself to a piece of chocolate now and again, and when I do, I savor every bite.

The most amazing part of this is my thinking has changed, which is the most critical part of all of this. For example, when I think I’d like a treat and remember how yummy chocolate chips are, it’s almost as if some protective shield drops through part of my mind and pushes me to the fruit bowl on the counter instead. And I don’t feel deprived when it happens; I feel powerful and focused.

In fact, in my mind I’m cheering myself on to continue making healthier choices and demonstrating healthier behaviors. I’m becoming more intentional and demonstrating that I have the discipline to follow through. This is the important part because it means I am becoming the person who can bring my dream into reality, and let me assure you — it’s a BIG dream! In fact, I’m working through a process with one of my Coach/Mentors who has given me a homework assignment: Rewrite my dream, 10 times bigger than it already is. WOW!

The bottom line is, it’s about creating a vision for what we want in our lives, then developing a plan and following through — with a  PROCESS — that will allow us to bring that vision into reality. What’s most important is following through with the process. Getting back to the process when we’ve allowed ourselves to get derailed by some other issue, distraction, or challenge.

What do you dream of being, doing, or having in your life?

What process are you following?

Who is in your inner circle — those people who will support, encourage, and push you to be the person you are striving to become?

What will you do when you hit a bump and get off track?

Who are YOU becoming along the way?

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Change is all about process…One woman’s story

Changing anything, if you want the change to be sustainable, requires a process. While it would be delightful (and nothing short of miraculous!) to be able to not eat any sweets for one full day — for example — and lose all the weight you want to drop and look amazing in your clothes the next day, we know it isn’t possible.

Making the change begins with an idea, a desire…to do, be, or have something different than your current conditions and circumstances allow. Once the idea has grown and developed and taken root in our minds, we must then make the DECISION to act. Action requires forethought, intentionality and commitment to continuing to act, DAILY!

Here’s an example. It’s the story of an Australian woman who recognized the need to make some significant changes in several areas of her life, and she started with one small, simple act: Gratitude posts on her Facebook page. Some days they were pretty mundane, some days more significant. The point is, she looked for reasons to be grateful, and found them! When she found them, she considered them and shared them. These are small, daily steps in the right direction.

I would imagine that on some days it was pretty challenging, other days might have been easier — with the challenge being more about which one thing to focus on out of many reasons to be grateful. As her year progressed, she made other changes in her behaviors, sometimes enlisting support from her friends (think — inner circle — those people who should support, encourage, and complement you).

It’s a process. Process begins with a single step, followed by more single steps, and before you know it, you’re on track and moving forward.

What is it you want to change about yourself or your conditions and circumstances this year?

What is the one simple step you can start with?

What will you allow to get you off track once you’ve started?

Whose support can you enlist to help you along the way?

Start today! You’ll be better for it.

Then come back and tell me what you did and how it felt. Looking forward to hearing your stories!

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