Are you just going along for the ride?

I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now. Originally, my thought was “are you hitchhiking through your life?” But as I thought about hitchhiking, it didn’t make as much sense.

You see, hitchhikers often have a specific destination in mind, as they step out onto the road and stick out their thumbs, or hold up their sign about where they want to go. And they accept rides with folks, usually headed in the same direction…getting at least a few miles closer to their chosen destination. But, truly, they are pretty much at the mercy (in more ways than one) of whomever’s car/truck they climb into when they accept a ride. Meaning, they may get closer to where they want to go, or they may just get farther away from where they want to get away from…and may simply end up wherever the driver happens to be heading.

What spurred this line of thinking was a number of conversations with people in recent weeks — some of whom I work with in coaching or mentoring relationships — about where they are headed in their careers. One conversation with a young woman about 3 weeks ago, really brought this idea into the front of my thinking. I worked with her, planning an event, and asked her how long she thought she would stay in event planning. (As an aside, if you’ve never been in this line of work, it’s very stressful — being responsible for a lot of details to pull events together, when often times you have little to no control over many of the pieces required for your event to be a success. And event planners often do not allow themselves to actually enjoy the event they have exchanged so much of their life energy to plan!)

She shared some thoughts on things going on in the organization she works with, and hopes to have the opportunity to move up, as her manager will be retiring in the next 12-18 months. She talked about her education and previous work experience and then said the thing that raised my alarms!

She said, there might be some opportunities in other departments of her organization, but that she would probably wait to see what the others above her thought she would be good at and what positions they might consider her for.

I said that was well and good, but wondered what she thought she was good at and what she was interested in…what was she striving to accomplish in her career? She seemed surprised by the question and it was obvious she’d not given it any thought, but said she probably should think about it.

I’m not sure why this particular conversation struck me so, as I have similar conversations with many people at a frighteningly frequent rate. I’m astonished by the people who give very little thought to what they want to do in life and are so willing to just go along for the ride, allowing someone else to define who they are, what they are good at, and what they should be doing with their time and life energy!

So, my question to you this evening is this: Are you the driver and navigator on your life’s journey, or are you just going along for the ride?

If you aren’t clear about what you long to do, are called to do, are passionate about doing, find satisfaction in doing…someone else will plan your life for you, but he’s the scary part: What they plan for you will be more focused on meeting their needs, not yours, and while you may be capable of doing certain things, and may even be quite good at doing them…they may leave you feeling empty, dissatisfied…Just because you “can” doesn’t always mean you “should.”

Clearly, the choice is yours. I encourage you to make this decision thoughtfully and intentionally. The answer is really the difference between choosing to be a victim or victorious, choosing to live your passion or just passing time helping someone else live theirs.

I look forward to hearing what you decide.

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Empowerment Mentoring — Follow up

If you weren’t able to join us on the Empowerment Mentoring Orientation call last night (14 May 2103), but are interested in listening to the recording, send me an email or leave a comment and I’ll send you the link.

If you’re interested in transforming your life, you want to be in this process with us!

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Differences in Passion

I spent some time reflecting on today’s blog post about a time when someone disagreed with something I am passionate about. I can say this has actually happened to me many times throughout the course of my career.

As you will have figured out by reading anything on my web site, any blog post, I am passionate about developing myself and others. I typically think of the impacts on people when I’m working with change, decision making, etc. And over the course of my career, working in the corporate world including many manufacturing companies, I was usually in the minority with respect to my focus and perspective. It put me in the position of often presenting an opposing view in an arena full of financial people, manufacturing/operations people, engineers, and production workers.

You see, I believe if we invest in people — take good care of them — they will take great care of our businesses. Engaged employees are more productive, more reliable, more creative, more loyal. But often times, companies don’t devise good measures for those attributes, can’t see how it impacts the bottom line.

In addition, I consider that in any endeavor, I am exchanging my time and life energy for something else, as are all the other people on this planet. For me, that exchange better be fulfilling, better be worth it. I know I make some people uncomfortable when I talk about it this way. A lot of people I am in contact with in work situations are just there for the paycheck, putting in their time, wanting to get out to get to their “real life.” I don’t want to live that way. I want meaning in my life, deep connections, the opportunity to add value and make a difference; I want my time and energy to matter.

I was once working with a group of people (not a “team” by my definition) who demonstrated a lot of behaviors I would consider unproductive, unhealthy, and in direct conflict with what they said they were there to do, which was work as a team. Communication was not flowing smoothly. Trust issues were evident and talked about frequently inside and outside the group — but never between the specific individuals involved in the situations being discussed. Processes weren’t followed consistently. They didn’t have a “lessons learned” process for evaluating job evolutions so they could learn from what went well and what didn’t and apply it to future work.

I offered to facilitate some team building for them; as my passion would direct me to, I wanted them to have a healthier environment to work in, better relationships with each other, the ability to have those uncomfortable, difficult, but necessary conversations, to perform at a higher level. I could envision a better culture, actual team work…They weren’t interested. Thought what I had to offer was fluff! In fact, they believed they had a healthy functional team and everything was fine.

I didn’t take it personally. I understand not everyone shares my perspective and my passion. Can I say it didn’t affect our working relationship? I don’t think so. Although, I will say I was less tolerant of listening to some of the issues they wanted to discuss about how others on their “team” were behaving. You see, if there’s an issue that’s disruptive enough to cause you to spend time thinking and talking (complaining) about it but you choose to not do anything to change it, that’s your choice.

My choice is to focus on what I can influence and effect positive change when I need it in my life, my team, my environment.

What about you?

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