Intentional Leadership — D4, W3, M2 — Relationships

Today is reflection day, so get you ready! Find your journal, pick out your favorite pen — you know the one, it fits your hand just so, and has the exact right size tip (micro fine for me, thank you!), and writes in your favorite color. Ready?

Spend sometime journaling about your experience from yesterday:

What action step did you choose to try? Or were you brave and tried more than one?

Which one(s) did you choose?

Was it easy or challenging?

What did you learn about yourself?

What did you notice about the other person’s reaction?

What will you do differently in the future?

What have you learned this week, with respect to putting aside your agenda in favor of that of your team?

How can you promote “We before Me” with your team going forward?

Map out some specific action steps and timelines you can follow, so you don’t lose what you’ve learned this week.

Remember: Application is the key to bridging the “knowing – doing” gap.

Have an intentional day!

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Intentional Leadership — D3, W3, M2 — Relationships

Today we apply what we’ve been thinking about and reflecting on this week. I love this part! This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road — application of principles and practices. After all, if we don’t apply what we know, nothing will change. It’s the biggest gap there is — the one between knowing and doing.

Ready to take the leap?

Today, watch for the following situations, and take action on at least one. Choose one that will be more of a stretch for you; after all, if it’s easy, there’s less opportunity for growth and learning.

Understanding — Before being heard on a subject today, seek to understand the facts and the position/perspective of the others involved, first.

Talk TO Someone, Instead of ABOUT Someone — When you’re tempted to talk about someone, go to them and discuss the issue with them in person, instead.

Be Transparent — Communicate clearly with someone instead of trying to hid your true thoughts or emotions. This is where we get away from being “political,” meaning words and actions intended to be what others want to hear, rather than what you really feel or think.

Outstanding Promises — If you have made a promise to someone, fulfill it today. If the promise is overdue, apologize and seek forgiveness. Vow to do better next time, and follow through.

Ask for Help — Instead of working on your own to figure something out, ask someone you know who may have better ideas or more experience in the specific topic than you, and ask him or her for help.

I can speak for only myself, but each of these have been growth opportunities for me at various times in my life. I frequently remind myself to follow these guides, so I can maintain the credibility I’ve built and demonstrate the integrity people have come to expect from me. I goof up on occasion, as I think we would all admit we do.

Really, the idea that keeps coming to mind is: Be intentional.

If you’re really brave, practice more than one of these! And make it a daily habit; you’ll be amazed at how these actions can improve your relationships over time.

Let me know how it goes for you.

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Intentional Leadership — D2, W3, M2 — Relationships

As we think more about team work this week, let’s spend some time exploring a few questions to clarify how well you contribute to a team.

Ask yourself these questions, and be honest; you’re the one who will benefit from the clarity your answers can bring.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Do I see to understand the situation before sharing my opinion?

When conflict arises, do I see out resolution with that person?

How well do I celebrate others before seeking the applause from others?

Am I willing to ask for help from others?

Is the team goal more important than my goals?

The answers to these questions can be quite revealing in terms of areas of opportunity, if you truly desire to be more effective in building relationships and developing strong, high-performing teams.

When I was younger, I was very much task-focused; I had learned from an early age to be very self-sufficient and to do as many things as possible by myself. I struggled with being willing to trust others, and didn’t give them the opportunity to help me … or even to disappoint me! I eventually reached a point in my career when I learned that it wasn’t a strategy for success.

I finally understood I would be successful only if I could form relationships, which would allow me to be much more productive and effective than I could ever be on my own. So, I learned to connect with people and build long-lasting relationships, with trust as the foundation. That’s not to say I get along swimmingly well with everyone I meet, but I am much more intentional about how I approach relationships. I am now living proof there is value in it.

I encourage you to really consider how better relationships can help you achieve more.

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