We often can learn from the experiences of others, and we should take advantage of those opportunities (do not, however, misinterpret this to mean that you should always wait for someone else to try something new first!). Spend some time reflecting on a time when you observed someone close to you taking initiative in spite of fear.

What was the situation?

How did they handle it?

What was the result?

What did you learn from watching them go through this experience?

Now, think of a situation you are currently faced with in which you need to take initiative and have some fear about moving forward. Get in touch with the person from today’s exercise and tell them the situation you are in. As them for guidance on how they would handle it. Then, spend some time in reflection about what they’ve shared with you. In your journal, note some of the recommendations you think are worth following through on. Consider the risks, implications, consequences, and benefits associated with any of the actions you might take. Then, make a decision about moving forward.

What value did you receive through someone else’s experience? And what value do you place on having them as a trusted confidant?

It’s good to know we have support when faced with significant decisions and challenges, and can deal with them before they grow into something more unmanageable!

When in pursuit of a goal, how do you typically respond to unexpected challenges?

What do you allow to hold you back? The unknown? Fear? Obstacles? Resistance from others?

Think of a time when you took initiative to address an issue and had to drive through an unforeseen obstacle or challenge.

Describe the event, your actions, and the outcomes.

What was the situation?

What actions did you initiate?

What obstacle / challenge did you encounter?

What was your initial reaction?

What actions did you take to address the obstacle and keep moving forward?

What were the results?

What results do you think you would have achieved, had you allowed the obstacle to stop you?

What did you learn from the process?

I used to be a daily coffee drinker. It always smelled delicious, but one day I actually started paying attention to how it tasted…and my conclusion was that it didn’t really taste like anything! I don’t think it was a quality issue; I started with whole coffee beans, freshly ground, fresh water…mixed with a little ½ and ½ in the cup.

Yes, drinking it had become a habit; something I did on auto-pilot without thinking about it. So, I asked myself why I was drinking coffee every day. The answer: That it had become a habit, was not good enough. A few days later, when I’d used up all the coffee beans I had, I cleaned out the coffee maker and stored it away in the cupboard.

Having consumed coffee nearly daily since high school, it was surprisingly easy to quit my daily habit! But I confess, I haven’t given it up completely.

I treat myself to a caramel latte once every couple of weeks. Last week, my latte treat got me thinking about leadership. Here’s what happened.

I went to my favorite coffee shop in between meetings. As I approached the counter, I noticed the young man stepping up to serve me had a hand-written name badge; translation – new employee, still in training. I placed my order, he repeated it back to me. We concluded the transaction, and he stepped over to the machine to make my drink.

I waited, anticipating how delicious it was going to be. You know how that works, when you’ve been craving something for a while, and you imagine the flavors floating through your mouth and you can’t wait for it to actually happen?

He handed it to me across the counter, I left the shop, got back in my car and started on to my next meeting; because the coffee was hot, I waited about 10 minutes before taking a sip. It was a big disappointment! No caramel flavor! I was too far down the road to go back. But, I did spend the rest of my drive thinking about how this experience relates to leadership and three lessons come to mind: Situational Leadership, Intent does NOT Equal Impact, and Trust but verify!.

Are you familiar with the Situational Leadership model, developed by Hersey and Blanchard? There are four stages of development for any task, with a leadership style to accompany each stage. Simply put:

In Development Level 1 (D1), a person is often motivated to learn to do the task, so the leader needs to give explicit directions (step-by-step) but not a lot of encouragement or support.

In D2, the person has tried to do the task a time or two, realizes it’s going to be harder than it looks, and is quickly de-motivated and often frustrated. At this stage, the leader still needs to give explicit, step-by-step instructions and a lot of support and encouragement.

After a little practice, the person moves into D3, when he/she generally has the process down, but needs more encouragement and support at the progress made going through it.

Eventually, the person reaches D4, and has become a master at the task; at this stage, the leader doesn’t need to give direction, nor a lot of support or encouragement. Again, this is very simplified and is task-based.

While I thought the trainers at my favorite coffee shop would have gone through this process with new employees –testing the results along the way to ensure expected taste, quality, and presentation of the various items they serve – I now know they didn’t (at least with respect to the caramel latte!).

I’m certain it was not his intent to serve me a disappointing latte (intent does not equal impact), so I have a choice to make – consider myself a victim (didn’t get the treat I was anticipating) or a victor (recognize my role in the experience and adapt my behavior). Knowing the young man was new at his job, I should have tasted my coffee before I left, knowing that if I waited until I was a way down the road, it would be too late to correct the situation (add caramel to my coffee).

My lesson, trust but verify!