When I was little, my mom used to bake me a chocolate-chocolate chip cake every year for my birthday. Oh, it was rich, moist, and yummy. I so looked forward to my birthday every year so I could have some (and yes, I confess to eating most of the cake myself, it was that good!). When I was in my teens, I asked her for the recipe, so I could bake the cake myself.
I was in my middle twenties, having a conversation with a friend about favorite desserts and sharing how rich and delicious this cake was, and how I couldn’t wait for it to be my birthday, so I could have some.
My friend asked, do you have the recipe? Yes.
Well, can you get what you need to make it at a grocery store? Yes.
Is there something about this recipe I don’t understand that would make it possible for you to bake this cake only at your birthday? No, it’s just…and I rattled off the ingredients.
Then she asked the key question: I guess I don’t understand, she said. Why couldn’t you just go to the store and buy the ingredients and bake the cake anytime?
This was twenty years ago, and I remember it so clearly. The proverbial light bulb went off above my head as I realized there was no reason why I couldn’t bake the cake any day of the year. I had constructed rules that said I could have that particular cake only on my birthday. The constraints were all created and enforced by me. And when asked the right question, I realized how ridiculous it was, and that I could change my beliefs and behavior about the cake at any time.
Now, this is truly a trivial and insignificant issue in the scheme of life, but it’s an excellent example of the power of the coaching process.
As a coach, my job is to ask my participants questions that will stimulate their thinking, allowing them to examine the rules, constraints, beliefs, and self-created barriers that are keeping them from achieving their goals and reaching their potential. These “aha!” moments don’t happen in every session, but they happen, and once they do, it’s amazing to watch people realize that the only thing holding them back is themselves.
That’s the moment when true, significant growth and change takes place.
Looking forward to experiencing more of these moments in upcoming coaching sessions with the amazing people I am blessed to coach.
What’s holding you back?
What’s your equivalent to my chocolate cake?
When you’re ready to experience the power of this process, call me. I’ll be waiting…
And yes, if you want the recipe, I’m happy to share. Over the past 20 years, I’ve enjoyed that cake on numerous occasions throughout the year — and on my birthday!
