They say experience is the best teacher. I beg to differ…Experience is the best teacher when we choose to reflect on our experience and learn the lessons inherent in them. This is when we gain wisdom. If we don’t do the reflection, then we have merely lived through a string of experiences.

Sometimes, we don’t recognize the lesson until much later, following an experience; it may be days, weeks, months, even years later before we can see the positive impact a challenging time had on us.

Think back to a difficult season in your life. What was it and how did you face it?

Looking back, what benefits were there for you as a result of that difficult time, that you weren’t able to see then? (Did the situation redirect your path in life? Did it bring you closer to family, friends, co-workers? Did it prepare you in some way for your current work or some other challenge you’ve faced since then?)

How does your new perspective motivate you to persevere as a leader in your current situation, know that there are unforeseen rewards on the other side?

Perseverance offers a number of rewards, some of them may even be sweet!

Think about Milton Hershey. Yes, THE Milton Hershey of Hershey’s chocolates fame. He was fired from his first job as a printer’s apprentice, for lack of attention to detail. Next, working in a candy store, he discovered his passion and opened his own shop in Philadelphia. Although he had plenty of financial support, he went bankrupt. He moved to Denver to work in his father’s mining venture, but missed the opportunity.

Again, he went to work in a candy store. Learned some new things, and moved east, again. He opened another candy store in NYC; again, he went broke!

No one would have been surprised or would blame him had he given up and gone to work, again, for someone else. But he didn’t. He summoned his courage and tried, again. (There’s that word, again — “AGAIN”!) And aren’t we all thankful he did? Personally, I’m partial to the semi-sweet variety of his chocolate and am enjoying some now, as I write!

The key is, he was persistent. And his name is synonymous with chocolate.

And what about Walt Disney? I believe he went bankrupt seven times before his dreams for Disneyland were realized. I’m sure we could all think of several other similar stories of passion, adversity, perseverance, and eventual success.

Leadership and failure are inseparably linked. When you attempt to bring your vision to life, you will experience bumps in the road, you will find you have fallen into a pot hole or even a giant sink hole along your journey…or you may be blazing an entirely new trail, with all kinds of unforeseen obstacles ahead. The trick is to learn from these setbacks, grow through them, and move beyond them. You will feel the amazing sensation of satisfaction — along with your success — when you do. And my friends, there’s not much like true satisfaction in knowing you stuck to it and accomplished what you set out to do.

Spend a little time today thinking about your greatest setback in your life to-date. What was it?

How did you get through it?

What was the bittersweet reward?

What did you learn from it that you have carried forward and use in other situations?

Perception = Reality.

IMG_0169

This beautiful bird spent the better part of four weeks fluttering up and down this window. You see, it thought it was flying into a tree. And it was persistent! It literally fluttered up and down this window most of the day; occasionally flying off into the trees you can see beyond it. The window has reflective film on it, to keep the heat of the sun out of the office. If you look at the window from the outside, you see the trees and bushes (which you can see as you look beyond the bird in this photo) reflected in the glass — pretty clearly, too. No wonder the bird thought it was flying into a tree…and behaved in a frustrated manner that it couldn’t get into the tree. It’s perception was that the window was a tree, and so it continued to try to find a way into the tree, because that was its reality.

Clearly…it wasn’t a tree and the bird was unsuccessful!

This is one of the key concepts I teach when I’m teaching communication skills. It fits in nicely with my two key lessons — self-awareness and intentionality are key to your success.

Understanding the power of perception is important because someone is always watching you, especially when you are a leader. And they make up stories about what’s going on based on snippets of information — often incomplete — combined with their beliefs, values, past experiences, and rumors. What they come up with may be accurate, close to accurate, or a million miles away from the truth, but because they don’t have access to the whole story, the one they create makes sense to them, and they move forward based on it.

My question to you is, how is someone’s else’s perception of you affecting your performance and chances of success? How is it impacting  your relationships?

What about your own perception about yourself? About your abilities, skills, and talents?

Whether you believe you can or your can’t, you’re right. ~Henry Ford

This quote says it all. What you believe to be true about yourself will determine your future. Knowing that, it’s important to examine how you perceive yourself and understand why it is so. Then, what can you do to make it different, if you need to make some changes to move forward into your potential?

And, what perceptions do you have about others that may be affecting your path forward?

Please, don’t waste your time and energy fluttering up against a window that is NOT a tree, and expect it to magically become what you want it to be! Make the effort to have clear vision and understanding about who you are and what’s going on in your life…and then move forward with confidence!