Intentional Leadership — D3, W1, M2 — Relationships

How did your self-assessment go yesterday?

Today, let’s get an outside perspective and find out how close our self-pereption is to that of others.

Find a close friend or colleague, someone you trust, and share your homework from yesterday. Ask them how they would rate you on the same five areas. It’s important that you do this exercise with someone who will be really frank with you, as getting feedback with someone who will not tell you the truth will not really help.

Five elements for building great relationships:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

If your self-assessment is close to that of your colleague’s, then you should consider yourself reasonably self-aware. If you find some gaps, I encourage you to consider them an opportunity for growth. Spend some time in reflection, so you understand the disconnects and determine if it’s worth making some changes.

We’ll be spending this whole month on relationships, so don’t rush through this part.

On a personal note, I am doing some homework along this line in preparation for Think Tank Day — part of the John Maxwell Team training I’ll be attending next week. The first step was to write a third-person description of myself, providing an overview of my personalities, including strengths and weaknesses. After I have my description written, I will share it with a few people who know me well and whose opinions I respect, to see how close I come to how others perceive me. It could be a truly eye-opening experience. I’m excited to find out!

/by

Intentional Leadership — D2, W1, M2 — Relationships

It’s self-assessment time! Before we get too far into thinking about and discussing relationships, let’s see how we do on some key foundational elements of relationship-building.

Assess yourself on each of these elements:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

After rating yourself, spend a little time to summarize your thoughts on this exercise. Are you a plus (+) or a minus (-)? What did you learn that you can use to improve your approach to relationships?

This area of leadership is like all the others in that to do well here, one must have a certain level of self-awareness and operate in an intentional manner. As with the exercises that came before now, it’s important that you are really honest with yourself. If you are shallow in this area, it will be readily apparent.

“See” you on Wednesday!

/by

Intentional Leadership — M2, W1, Day 1 — Relationships

Welcome to month 2 of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on relationships.

As we start this first week, it makes sense to consider, first, our relationship with ourselves.

If you’ve done much reading about Abraham Lincoln, you will be well aware that he took quite the journey learning to be a leader. He encountered many challenges along his path, often experiencing events that may have driven some to give up, but he was persistent and knew he had important work to do. Over the course of his journey, he came to know his strengths and weaknesses quite well. This self-awareness allowed him to form relationships with rivals as he steered the country through some of its toughest times.

When we look at many leaders — within organizations, local and state governments, and even those responsible for entire countries — quite often you will notice they have built their inner circles with loyal supporter and long-time colleagues. Not Lincoln; he built his cabinet with bitter rivals, knowing full well they would not see eye-to-eye on many matters that would determine what kind of country the US would be, following the Civil War. He realized, though, that each of those men had invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and experience, and he needed the best to help move the country through such a precarious time.

It takes a strong, confident leader to do that. He knew his ideas and decisions would be challenged, and he understood it would be in the country’s best interest to open himself up to that level of scrutiny. He knew the others had value to add, and would help him to make sound, well-considered decisions about our country’s future.

As you come to truly know yourself — values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams — you will come to more easily recognize those characteristics and qualities in others, and to appreciate them, as well. You will be able to recognize the value of working together.

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership development program. One of the things I learned is: No one of us is as smart as all of us.

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Before we dive into relationships with others, let’s take a close look at ourselves today. Take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses with respect to building and maintaining relationships.

Which skills do you believe to be your strengths?

Which skills would you be well-served to work on?

You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together, we can do great things.  — Mother Teresa

/by